I think she shut me down....

Okay I told you all that I was starting this 6 week program "Dialogue on Race". Before I get started let me say I have taken part in numerous leadership seminars, several "programs" on race and what not. I think I have a pretty good understanding, I acknowledge that I have a different way of looking at things and can sometimes be closed-minded. With all that being said today I think one of my facilitators shut me down. I can be controversial and antagonistic, but this time I really wasn't. I said I wasn't gonna say anything but I just couldn't hold it. Okay so today the dialogue was about terms we would use in the class. I understand that we must lay a foundation so that we must be on the same page. Because occasionally people use words interchangeably and it can be confusion. So we were to go around the table and introduce ourselves and give our definition on racism. Well my definition was some like fear, misunderstanding, that its a learned behavior, nobody is born a bigot. Well so my first shut down was when I did my introduction I told who I was and a little about me and my definition of racism. So then I say "Why I'm taking this class" and the facilitator says "okay we don't have time for that we have to get to the other people". Okay I know we have a time schedule to keep and I wasn't going to tell my life story, but I found it interesting that we had time for everyone else but not for me. Okay I didn't take it personally. So then we got to discussing definitions.





Racial prejudice- a preconceived judgment or opinion; an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge. Racial prejudice is an irrational attitude or hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics.





Institutions- a society is composed of a great number of institutions. They may be either private or public, but all are interconnected through their common task of helping the society to function. Institutions give expression to the organized activities of a community and serve its various needs.....





Okay so we are given these definitions and then the facilitators says doesn't this sound a lot like individual prejudice? *thinking to myself is she telling us or asking us* so I ask do we have to accept them ? can we use both? she pretty much looks at me like i am stupid and I pretty much think what ever it is your definition and your class. So then we break.





and I began to think. if the formula for racism is Individual Prejudice + Institutional Power= Racism. Ugh that seems flawed, what if the person is the institution? What institution do you know that isn't comprised of individuals who bring there "issues" with them weather its political, racial or personal. I truly believe that this definition is flawed, it almost uses a word to define itself. I mean a institution can't stand on its on, its made up of people. I just couldn't move past it.





SO here's my dilemma, do i go back. I know that definitions are an essential part of this communication/dialogue and I ain't with the definitions.

Okay when I wrote this after my first class. I did go back and the second class was entirely different. It was better. I am glad I went back.