Saturday, January 31, 2009

This week

This week was rather cool..Monday I felt like I was allover the place. But Tuesday was good i went to church, our pastor didn't lead Bible Study but an associate minister. One of the guys on the media ministry said something really interesting to me he said "you sure are hard on yourself". I never thought I was or that was true, but maybe it is . Is that a bad thing? Well anyway so on Wednesday I chilled nothing major happened. Thursday I went to a social and was actually social. I know you all want believe it, but I am a bit anti-social. I am on the volunteer committee for the local bar and we are trying to recruit new member well in talking with some of the old members I found out that we had more in common than just being lawyers. Friday was interesting, I left work and came home took a nap and did some work with the Delta's . Today I went to a Delta program and came home and rested did a little work and exercised. I have officially watched 2 whack moves "Deception" and "I know who killed me". I am gonna have a snack and go to be

A whole week later.....

I know I said I was going to finish last weekend, so before I go into my week I will finish telling you aobut last weekend. So I told you all about Friday.

Saturday
Well Saturday I got up and went to an investiture of a judge that one district court here. She was a city court judge and I had to practice in front of her. I really never enjoyed practicing in front of her because she seemed to undermine the entire criminal justice system. I am going to try to write from her view point as well as mine. So her view point--- she believes she is helping people by not putting them in jail. All they really need is someone to take time with them and give them attention. Jail isn't the answer. If I only make a different in one persons life than my job here is done. i want to be there friend not there judge.
My viewpoint WHAT THE FUCK!!!! friend not judge, this is not a social club we have a courtroom full of people and pages of cases to handle. Basic lessons here people "leave other peoples stuff alone", "keep your hands off of each other" and just say no to drugs otherwise I am trying to put your ass in jail. I am not a social worker and I really don't care what HAD happened. You have a right to a lawyer (though it not my fault your lawyer is horrible).
Now I know it sounds harsh, but when I was a public defender we were SERIOUS about our job, yes mind you I dealt with felons and these are only misdemanors. I just think everyone should do there job. Whereas the judge thinks that since I know the PD is HORRIBLE I should take time and work with the people. BULLSHIT!!! the PD needs to be fired and somebody that is compatent should replace them, else shits gonna happen. I know you are thinking DAMN freespeech...but I hate people who don't take there job serious and don't challenge me. (YES its about me now) but seriously if I come with my A game I need you to come with your A game, not your Y game. Well anyway back to the investiture it was at the judges church and it began with an african dance troupe to usher in the spirit. It was amazing followed by speakers and presentations, it was nice I felt kind of bad seeing that I am somewhat indifferent to the fact that she is leaving City Court. Well anyway I came home and changed clothes and went grocery shopping and ran some other errands.

Sunday
I got up an went to church. I then went to a Roe v. Wade celebration. It was sponsored by Planned Parenthood and it was celebrating the 36th anniversary. It is something that Iwould have never done if I weren't invited. It was called voices, it was different woman speaking reading expercpt about other woman's expereiences with abortions. It was really interesting, I even ran into my Women and Gender Studies professor from college. I also ran into a lady who's campaign i worked on while in law school (actually she was the one who invited me.) Well before I left to go my neighbor called me and said she had something for me. I told her that I had somewhere to go and that I would call her when I get back. Well as I was driving back home, I saw her headed out for her walk and so she waited for me and we walked. So when we got back she had bought a picture at hobby lobby for me. I was kinda wierd but nice, I guess the fact that I hadn't done any decorating. So we put the picture up in my bedroom moved some furniture around in my front room and living room and not its looks like somebody may actually live here.

So that was my weekend...(last week)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Coming full circle

I have been meaning to blog, especially about this past weekend.

So Friday I go see Angela Davis, Saturday I go to a investiture, Sunday I go to Roe v. Wade celebration, Monday I baked lasagna, and today I went to my bosses father's funeral. I think my approach to this blog will be day by day.

Friday
It was a busy day so I thought it would be, I planned on going to work, leaving work around 1:30 and going on campus to hear Angela Davis speak for MLK, picking up my dry cleaning and coming home wash my hair or wash clothes get up and go out (yes I said go out) and hear the New Birth Brass Band from New Orleans. Well instead my day went like this. I did go to work, I left around1:45 got to campus couldn't find a parking spot, made a parking spot and rushed in to hear Angela Davis speak. I remember thinking her speech was full circle she went from Barak to MLK, to the civil rights march really being the freedom march a killing that happened in Oakland, back to MLK's dream not being fulfilled by Obama and everything in between. While there I ended up standing next to one of my facilitators from the Race Dialogue. She asked if I could sign up for the advanced session that she was facilitating. Of course I said sure, even though I have already signed up for a course with the library that will be going on, on the same day. The advanced class is from 5:30- 7:30 and the library class is from 7-9, I have no ideal how I am going to work this out. But I want to do both. Well after I left campus I picked up my dry cleaning I spent over $50 on dry cleaning, I guess that isn't that bad since may be the 3rd or 2nd time I have been to the dry cleaners since I moved hear in March. After that I came home and decided I need to go to the bank. One thing about where I leaving I can pretty much walk anywhere. So I walked to a service center for my credit union (maybe a block or 2 away). I had to get some exercise in some way. I came home and decided I need a nap. Well that was that for going out cause once I got up I talked to my BFF all night and went back to bed. Oh, I forgot to mention I brought cheesecake to my job (2 that i made a plain one and a caramel one).

I will do another blog for Saturday.

Coming full circle

Sunday, January 18, 2009

My answers

S23- had this post called the interview and these are the question she sent me and my response.

Sorry I am pretty boring.


1. Have you ever gone on a blind date? If so, how'd that turn out?

NO, I think my friends are afraid to hook me up with anyone, cause they know me.

2. Who's that "one that got away?"

UGH, I don’t know. A couple of people come to mind. 1.) Marques- but maybe that was for my own good. It has taken me forever to come that that realization. I didn’t realize until a long time after it was over how manipulative he was, I thought he was the one. We had planned our lives together; I was going to prolong my graduation for another semester, so we could graduate together. We were going to move to St. Louis so he could go to grad school and I would go to law school (I guess or support him while he did grad school). And I would live happily ever after- but then he lost his mind. 2.) Myles- he hasn’t gone anywhere and that’s part of the problem. As much as I love him, I can’t be with him because he doesn’t have follow through. I think he may have finally gotten it, but only time will tell. But he’s still my bestest friend. If I can find a man with his qualities minus the deal breakers it would be so ON. Actually, I think the answer is I haven’t met him, cause for the most part I have open lines of communication with most of the people I have occupied time with and though I may think about them occasionally, I get over it.

3. What hairstyle from the past are you most embarrassed about?

I am pretty conservative and my mother really wasn’t going for anything outrageous. I remember wanting a curl and she was against it. I didn’t get braids for the first time until I was in college. Hell and that’s the only time I have had weave. A freeze when I was in jr. high I had the freeze that was lifted for homecoming and I did finger waves once. Other than that it’s been pretty boring.

4. Who could "get it" anytime/anyplace? (famous or not)

Ugh, I am on The Wire fix right about now so---Stringer Bell, Avon Barksdale, Marlo, Cheese, Bodie, Daniels and the 2 other cops (black guys that worked with Daniels). Let’s just say if the Wire ever has a reunion show I am so the groupie for you.

5. If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
My father……..

In a weird place.....

I am in a weird place right now....I just finished watching The Bucket list and of course I cried. Before that I watch The Perfect Holiday and I watch Kung Fu Panda and Season 4 of the wire. I am not sure whats going on with me. I am sad but at peace, if that makes any sense. I can't really explain it.

So I am sure you are wondering why I am at home this weekend. I was intially suppose to go to Austin to visit a friend from college, but one of the girls backed out and then I started feeling ill so I choose not to go. I no I said my New Years resolution was to do better and I really do plan on it. I said I am gonna fight my social anxiety and just go out by myself. I really don't have a problem being out by myself, cause I always seem to run into people I know, but gets me is without liquor. I really don't have a desire to drink, but when I think about going out I think of a nice drink in my hand listening to great music, guess I am gonna have to make that drink a shirley temple or pineapple juice with out the rum.

I have no ideal what I am doing for MLK, I really should do something productive. I mean other than stay in my house/bed and watch movies and grade papers or bill. I had a thought the other day that really came out of nowhere its gonna sound crazy but I don't remeber where I but I think I was driving and it just came to me"God is going to take care of it". Now what is it you may be asking. I am been stressing about money, what else is new. I just got my annual "raise" and I am fine. But I am not where I want to be, for some reason I can't save like I want. I want to save $60,000 in the next 3 years ($20,000) a year, how I have no earthly ideal. I thought about getting another part-time/night gig, but I don't have peace about that. And the last time I had a second job, will tell you about that latter. I am just on the is "freaked out" mode. I am like I need to have a "stash" cause I only have this one income, I need to be able to take care of myself when I get old in the event I can't work for a while or something happens and my mother can't work or etc. etc. I am like damn near neuotic.

I digress.....I was flipping to my pages of Jet and Steve Harvey is writing a book think like a man act like a woman. I am so guilty of not doing that. I think like a man, act like a man. We was talking about women who don' t allow men to be men, like paying for meals and things like that. I have been guilty of emasculating a man. I use to have this motto "anything I need from a man, I can buy, borrow or do myself". I have really tried not to think like that, but its so much easier to do that. I have never been that person wo saw themselves, better yet you guys remember the Robin Givens character from Boomerang, I saw wanted to be her. A super bitch.....

This pass week was pretty something. There was this guy, that I have admired from afar. He is good friends with a friend of mines husband. To tell you how long I have admired this guy, I remeber becoming fond of him at my friends daugthers' 1st birthday, I think this September her daughter will be 5. Well anyway I ran into him at an investuture for the ad hoc judge, I left all gitty (you know I didn't stay long) like a school girl. I called my friend to tell her and guess what she says "HE'S ENGAGED". You know the last krush I had got engaged. Well it appears that the days to come are gonna be busy.

S23 sent me a list of question I am suppose to answer, but I forgot the rules so let me do that before I get a not so "friendly reminder".

Thursday, January 8, 2009

An empty testimonial experience....

Okay that is just a phrase I heard in court yesterday and I liked it. So what's going on? It's a new year, happy new year to all. Today is my cousin's 20th birthday. So whats going on with me, nothing much. I am proud to say that I have done some activity in an effort to bring sexy back. On Sunday night I did some bedtime stretches, that Monday morning I walked a block in my neighborhood and that night I did some ab and baked fish with mash potatoes and carrot ( i know that sounds like a nasty combo) it was alright, I need to cook the carrots cause I had open the package already. Tuesday, I did some yoga after church, Wednesday I stayed in court all day, I didn't get out until like 6:30 (hence the title, it sums up my day) I was so tired when I got home I was in my bed for 8 pm. This morning I got up around 6 am and walked a block in my neighborhood and got to work early (actually its what time I should get here, but never do). Now I have eaten lunch and blogging. I have a hair appoint cause YO' GURL needs some chemicals.

Okay so how was every one's holiday. I think the last time we talked was around Christmas Eve. Well I left work around 11 am (cause my boss left and I didn't see the need in staying if the "the man" wasn't here). Hung out with my family, did church and a movie on Christmas. Saw 7 pounds, I am not really sure how I feel about it. For those that haven't seen it take some tissue and for those that have please let me know what you thought. My mother and I did somethings around the house pack up Christmas being one of the things, we donated somethings to the Providence House (shelter for the needy), put up a third bed in the spare room in the house, I cleaned up a bit, I even went through some boxes of stuff she had taken out of storage it was stuff from high school (like my old cheer leading uniform, which I didn't even attempt to try on), I ran across old photos, but the one that got me was one from Girls State. I so didn't look like myself, I was crackhead skinny. I had on some Adidas (the soccer style tennis), the big socks that were slouched down (cause I thought they made me looking kinda sporty) some jean shorts and a t-shirt and a hat (Girl State issued of course). It was to funny and kinda sad, not sure where all this body came from that i have now but YO' Gurl is working on it.

Well that Tuesday my mother came back "home" with me and we did a little shopping I needed to pick up somethings from wal-mart cause I told one of the guys at church that i would bake him a cake (sour cream pound cake) for Wednesday. I thought my church was having watch nite but they weren't so I ended up going to church on Tuesday for media ministry's hour of prayer (just for the record I don't sing or pray out loud), so i read the scripture and prayed to myself. On Wednesday I made an appearance at work and then had lunch with one of my colleagues so that she could meet my mother. It was great, after we went church that evening for testimony service and then to the house. I had a party that night, in my neighborhood. It was really cool, I LOVE MY NEIGHBORHOOD, hopefully one day the Lord will place me enough to by a place in my neighborhood. We had what is called a progressive party, hors d' oeuvres at on person's house, then main course at another house, then dessert at another and then to the Capitol to ring the bell to bring in the new year. I meet people in the neighborhood it was really good. We rang in the new year and I am happy to announce that it was all in walking distance and I did it alcohol free. I am happy to report I have not had a drink since July 08' now if I can only make it through mardi gras.

The next day we went out and did a little shopping, I am also happy to announce that YO' GURL can now purchase her bra's at Lane Bryant and not some random specialty shop. (plus they have sales and coupons). I bought my mother a digital camera and the portable printer and do you know what she had the nerve to say "I guess now I can start looking for my flat screen", ABSOLUTELY NOT. A flat screen is not in the current budget, I have a trip to Vegas that is the next major "purchase" in the budget. She better go sit down somewhere, and this is why I am not rushing on the kid front I have a grown ass child on my hands....my lil' girl.

Well as for my new year's resolutions I only made one and that is to "DO BETTER", which means I am gonna do better than I did last year and the first thing on my list is, I am going to Austin to visit a friend from college during MLK weekend (no its not in the budget but I will make it work----now if you all don't hear from me in a while you know they don' gon' and turnt my letric' off...LOL!! no but seriously. I am doing better.

I guess I will stop chatting with you on the man's time take care.