Saturday, September 5, 2009

Here we go again......

So it's the Saturday before Labor Day and I am sitting at home ALONE!!!! That normally wouldn't be odd cause I do it often.....So what's been happening I know its been so long since I have blogged and I am sure this is going to be all over the place.

So I will try to cover major events....Well Aaron is/was back (I think that's what I called him, you know the guy last year that stood me up for 4th of July). Okay so let's talk about him.....Well I gues like a couple of weeks ago I saw him online and just sent a message to say hi, he mentioned that he was just headed back home from New Orleans and things weren't going well. I was like okay you know if you ever need to talk just call and I will listen. So we talked/chatted briefly and randomly he asked me "Do you want to see me" I was like okay/sure. Well I guess right before my birthday (8/23) I called him because he was on my mind and he didn't answer, well the next day he calls me and we talk and it was a cool conversation, so a week goes by and we don't talk and I get an email from him asking for my phone number, he was at work and he wanted to call me, I was like okay, so he calls me from work and he is like what are you doing Labor Day weekend? I am like nothing I do have something that Saturday form 3-6 but other than that nothing...I was like why...he was like I am trying to take a trip.....i was like where are you going...he was like I was trying to come and see you .....i was like O.--OKay...he was like but I am trying to figure out accomodations...i was like well----what do you want to do....he was like I can't say, I am at work.....I am like WTH are you trying to say....he was like not like that i am just at work and i don't want people in my business.....i was like o--okay, then i said well you are more than welcome to stay with me if you want (at that moment I had an outer body experience and was like HE IS???), so he says let me call you back.....so he calls me back and is like I am gonna fly in to BTR not NOLA i was like okay and i come in Friday night and leave early Monday morning. I was like okay, that was Wednesday night, so Thursday morning we talk and I check my email and he has forwarded me his itenitary. So we talk on/off for the past week, we last talk on Wednesday. His flight was suppose to get her Friday at 8:43, so at 6:49 p.m. I get this text message: "I'm so sorry about tis but I had to cancel my flight because I was gonna miss it do to work. I understand if u don't want to talk to me anymore. It was out of my hands" So I call him to see what's going onand he doesn't answer so I text him back "That's fine! Just call me when you get a chance" Well I handle like I ONLY KNOW how, I am numb, indifferent and kinda hurt. I call my friend that I normally met on Friday nights and tell her I ain't driving and i want to drown my sorows in alcohol. so I get drunk.. I of course drunk dial him and he doesn't answer and I send him a text message that he doesn't respond to. So I send him a IM saying "I am not mad at you" I don't hear from him all day today, so I BUZZ him on IM and then call him.....NOTHING!! So I delet him from everything cause I am so confused and don't know what has happened and could be on the crazy train....I JUST WANT DO IT!!!

So with all that being said I am so confused....A TEXT, really? I haven't heard from you at all, really? you stand me up A SECOND TIME? WTH? I don't even know how to feel, I have been attracted to this guy since I was 17 and everytime I talk to him I get butterflies...its just crazy and I don't even know what do/think/feel/etc. I wasn't mad at him for having something come up with work but I am aggravated by the lack of communication, especially when he "harps" on me opening up and that he wants to learn more about me.