Today I cried at work....I know how unprofessional. I had a client today that I was fighting for his release and I don't think the judge is going to let him go. Now he is crazy as the day is long and the Dr. say (though I question that) he is a danger to himself and others. Now this guy is homeless, no family, no criminal history, now he is crazy not question about that. but i just had a hard time letting it go just because he is crazy. I don't it just really got to me cause I fight for ass holes everyday to go home only to come back a month or so later with another charge. My co-worker said he will be getting the help he needs if he is civilly committed because otherwise he will be out in the street with no treatment, home and could end up hurting someone or getting hurt. I guess that's true but i just don't think its fair just because he is crazy who am i to see he shouldn't be out if I believe that state is illegally holding him.
Sometimes I hate my job and sometimes I love it. Sometimes I feel so elitist, for example yesterday I met with a woman who has 9 kids, numerous baby daddy's, no job, living on government assistance. She says she has 2 kids that are grown and the others range from high school age to toddler. She is charged with Cruelty to Juvenile. My first thought was if you had a job maybe you wouldn't have all these damn kids, then I was like hell that should be cruelty in itself 7 kids that you can't support. I promise the more I talked to her the more exhausted I became, hell I had to come home and take a nap. I felt bad for judging this lady but I was so annoyed by her situation. And then read some of the allegation, how she would have her hair and nails done and her kids would look a shitty mess (literally). I was so irritated. Sometimes i feel so guilty for my quasi-bourgeois attitude. Cause there really isn't anything that damn special about me. I could go on, but I will stop.
I guess today my job really got to me. I have about (let's see) 250 open cases and I would say that probably 200 of the people (80%) are black and of those I would guess that 175 are men. you hear that all the black men are in prison and it is so true. If I want to see a multitude of brothers the jail is the spot. they are there for stupid shit. poor decision making, lack of self control, disrespect of others property, etc. then there are so many of them that need some help. many of my clients are the crack babies from the 80's they have so many challenges. Its just heart breaking.
Question: How do you keep up the good fight when the people you are fighting for are throwing in the towel?
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Happiness
The other day I was talking with our court reporter. She is probably in her 40's (maybe 50's) but lately she has been doing a lot of traveling with her hunnie. I asked when did she start enjoying life. She said probably in her 40's. She said during her 20's she was married and had a kid, once he got out of school, she sold her house moved into an apartment and has been traveling to and fro.
The reason I asked this was because a friend of mines told me that I need to enjoy life more. I really don't think its time to enjoy life. I feel like my 20's were the boot camp of life. My 20's have been filled with life lesson, bumping my head (sometimes over and over and over again). My friends look at me crazy when I say I am ready for the 30's. In some ways that is true. As far as whatever it is life has to offer I am so ready (cause I just want to believe its got to get better) not to say my life is so bad now but I pray this isn't it (I hope I didn't make a wrong turn back there somewhere). When I think about my health I am so not ready for 30's cause I am so out of shape so unhealthy and i lack true motivation to change. In my spiritual life I am not sure. Its like I know better but sometimes I don't do better. I have known God and Jesus as my personal savior (okay let me open that up cause I need some help. I have known that Jesus was my personal savior since i was like 4 or 5 years old. I have known God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I believe that the Holy Spirit Dwells in me, but for some reason I feel that since I have known this "family" for so long I shouldn't be experiences some things or as I type I am thinking maybe I should.
You ever hear people give testimonies and they say how they were in the world and they did this that and another and how God brought them a mighty long way. I think of this song (not really a song just a testimony on record) About this lady who sang for Chaka Khan and want not met a guy that became her drug dealing boyfriend and how she had a praying grandmother. She passed out from doing drugs and the Lord spoke to her, etc. I can honestly say I have never experienced a low like that and people who have talk about there lives then and now and they have this conviction in there heart and voice about the glory and power of God.
Not that I am saying I need a life changing experience to appreciate God, but somedays I think I (I know) take him for granite. Because he has protected me, so somedays I just don't feel like talking to him. I know that sounds crazy but I don't know what to do. I know you are thinking what does this have to do with happiness.
Well right now I am in a phunk and I can't seem to get out. I just feel numb, indifferent, tired, unhappy. But then I start feeling bad because I know that I am blessed and there are people who wish they were in my position, but I just still feel melancholy.
Not sure what that is about. I feel like I have so much that needs to be done and I just don't know where to start. I want to get organize but for some reason I just don't feel like doing it. Like at the end of the day I feel like I have not accomplished a thing. I use to every night write out my to do list and throughout the day scratch off the things I did and see what I actually did. Now the thought of that just makes me want to go to bed. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!
I so want to have a schedule and be organized more and accomplish more but the thought of sitting down and starting the process seems so daunting.
I started off talking about happiness then moved into God and now I am talking about time management...believe it or not this is how my mind works. I do worry to much and put to much on myself but that's me and how i function.
QUESTION: Are you truly enjoying life, if not when do you think you will start?
The reason I asked this was because a friend of mines told me that I need to enjoy life more. I really don't think its time to enjoy life. I feel like my 20's were the boot camp of life. My 20's have been filled with life lesson, bumping my head (sometimes over and over and over again). My friends look at me crazy when I say I am ready for the 30's. In some ways that is true. As far as whatever it is life has to offer I am so ready (cause I just want to believe its got to get better) not to say my life is so bad now but I pray this isn't it (I hope I didn't make a wrong turn back there somewhere). When I think about my health I am so not ready for 30's cause I am so out of shape so unhealthy and i lack true motivation to change. In my spiritual life I am not sure. Its like I know better but sometimes I don't do better. I have known God and Jesus as my personal savior (okay let me open that up cause I need some help. I have known that Jesus was my personal savior since i was like 4 or 5 years old. I have known God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I believe that the Holy Spirit Dwells in me, but for some reason I feel that since I have known this "family" for so long I shouldn't be experiences some things or as I type I am thinking maybe I should.
You ever hear people give testimonies and they say how they were in the world and they did this that and another and how God brought them a mighty long way. I think of this song (not really a song just a testimony on record) About this lady who sang for Chaka Khan and want not met a guy that became her drug dealing boyfriend and how she had a praying grandmother. She passed out from doing drugs and the Lord spoke to her, etc. I can honestly say I have never experienced a low like that and people who have talk about there lives then and now and they have this conviction in there heart and voice about the glory and power of God.
Not that I am saying I need a life changing experience to appreciate God, but somedays I think I (I know) take him for granite. Because he has protected me, so somedays I just don't feel like talking to him. I know that sounds crazy but I don't know what to do. I know you are thinking what does this have to do with happiness.
Well right now I am in a phunk and I can't seem to get out. I just feel numb, indifferent, tired, unhappy. But then I start feeling bad because I know that I am blessed and there are people who wish they were in my position, but I just still feel melancholy.
Not sure what that is about. I feel like I have so much that needs to be done and I just don't know where to start. I want to get organize but for some reason I just don't feel like doing it. Like at the end of the day I feel like I have not accomplished a thing. I use to every night write out my to do list and throughout the day scratch off the things I did and see what I actually did. Now the thought of that just makes me want to go to bed. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!
I so want to have a schedule and be organized more and accomplish more but the thought of sitting down and starting the process seems so daunting.
I started off talking about happiness then moved into God and now I am talking about time management...believe it or not this is how my mind works. I do worry to much and put to much on myself but that's me and how i function.
QUESTION: Are you truly enjoying life, if not when do you think you will start?
Thursday, October 25, 2007
White Boots and open Toe Suede shoes???????
Okay the last time we talked I was debating what to do for my mentally defective client, well I decided to go for it, so I just finished my "motions" and what not on his behalf. I took it to my secretary and told her I needed it filed. Now when I walked over there she was reading a magazine and she says, can I file it tomorrow. I say yes cause its really not due until Monday but I wanted the judge to get it so he could (not that he would) look it over the weekend. I GROWL.
I have a question for all the fashionistas out there: something that has always bugged me was white boots and open toe suede (or any other winter material) shoes. I also don't understand "winter shorts" but you don't see people doing that to often. I am I just crazy or what?
I met with one of the attorneys I talked about who wanted me to help her with some of her Personal Injury work. I went to talk to her and she is walking me through a file and what not, so I ask her about payment for my services. Now I will be the first to admit that I am not sure of my worth, but when she said half I bout fell out of my chair. Let's say she get a settlement for $10,000 and she takes 30%, which would be about $3,000 I would get $1,500. Ballin' out of control......am I selling myself cheap, we will see we are getting together Saturday to work on a few files that need to be done by December (no whammies no whammies----Christmas $$$$$$)
What else.....I need to finish my series on Fear of men but I just don't feel like it.
The great State has some new elected officials, some I voted for, some I didn't some I couldn't and wouldn't but I am happy to say the number of commercials on TV will dramatically decrease, cause I am so sick of those damn commercial. Some dude (usually old white man) with a dress shirt on, sleeves rolled up, having mindless chit chat (we are to believe his leading) with an attentive audience and then they roll the fluff. "He will change things, he will make a difference, blah blah blah"" Like anyone is gonna say I am running for XYZ cause I hate my current job, I think the current XYZ is an idiot, I am gonna give perks to all my friends and supports and have a complicated matrix-like phone system so I can never hear your concerns (like I was gonna do anything anyway) SO VOTE FOR ME.....
What else.....I guess that's it cause I have gotten Bridal Shower invite and a Baby Shower invite and I need to stalk there registry to see what they have the I am gonna by.
QUESTION: The bridal shower I am invited to is themed "Around the Clock" and each person has a different time, my time is 7:00 p.m and we are suppose to bring something that the bride can use during that time I was thinking that was dinner time so I was gonna look for something for the kitchen. Any thoughts on anything else?
I have a question for all the fashionistas out there: something that has always bugged me was white boots and open toe suede (or any other winter material) shoes. I also don't understand "winter shorts" but you don't see people doing that to often. I am I just crazy or what?
I met with one of the attorneys I talked about who wanted me to help her with some of her Personal Injury work. I went to talk to her and she is walking me through a file and what not, so I ask her about payment for my services. Now I will be the first to admit that I am not sure of my worth, but when she said half I bout fell out of my chair. Let's say she get a settlement for $10,000 and she takes 30%, which would be about $3,000 I would get $1,500. Ballin' out of control......am I selling myself cheap, we will see we are getting together Saturday to work on a few files that need to be done by December (no whammies no whammies----Christmas $$$$$$)
What else.....I need to finish my series on Fear of men but I just don't feel like it.
The great State has some new elected officials, some I voted for, some I didn't some I couldn't and wouldn't but I am happy to say the number of commercials on TV will dramatically decrease, cause I am so sick of those damn commercial. Some dude (usually old white man) with a dress shirt on, sleeves rolled up, having mindless chit chat (we are to believe his leading) with an attentive audience and then they roll the fluff. "He will change things, he will make a difference, blah blah blah"" Like anyone is gonna say I am running for XYZ cause I hate my current job, I think the current XYZ is an idiot, I am gonna give perks to all my friends and supports and have a complicated matrix-like phone system so I can never hear your concerns (like I was gonna do anything anyway) SO VOTE FOR ME.....
What else.....I guess that's it cause I have gotten Bridal Shower invite and a Baby Shower invite and I need to stalk there registry to see what they have the I am gonna by.
QUESTION: The bridal shower I am invited to is themed "Around the Clock" and each person has a different time, my time is 7:00 p.m and we are suppose to bring something that the bride can use during that time I was thinking that was dinner time so I was gonna look for something for the kitchen. Any thoughts on anything else?
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Oh what shall I do.....
Things have been kinda......I don't know interesting? My weekend was pretty boring, I spent it getting ready for Jury Trials, which of course none of them went. Just day I kinda felt like a real lawyer...what do I mean, some days I feel like I just show up and stuff happens and other days I don't know. Well I got a sex offender a sweet deal, now before you go and get all up in arms about how could I represent a sex offender. Let me say what I was representing him on was his failure to register. Here S.O have to register for 10 years with the city, parish and state and my guy only registered with the state and had registered with the parish (not sure if he had to register with the city cause not sure if he lived within the limits) since 99'. Now he hasn't gotten in any more trouble or anything like that. The state was trying to give him a minimum of 2 years and I just thought that was ridiculous this man was on probation during some of the time he was to register and nobody said anything now 7 years later its a problem. Seriously???? I hate when the STATE tries to screw people over for there on personal reasons. Well anyway I got him a misdemeanor and probation.
Now right now I am dealing with something that I don't know what to do.....how do you do the right thing and the right thing. I have a guy who needs to be released from custody but I know he may pose a danger to society. But the reason he should get released is because the STATE was fucking around and didn't do there job....(to busy trying to prosecute silly shit)So I don't know what to do. Actually I do but I just don't want this ass hole showing up at my door in a couple of days.....
Its been pretty slow around these parts I am trying to get back on track with things and all. I am getting ready to buy a new car and Christmas shop. (I hate spending money...I growl).
I hope all is going well for everyone. I am gonna head home its getting cold down here and I kinda want some hot cocoa.
Now right now I am dealing with something that I don't know what to do.....how do you do the right thing and the right thing. I have a guy who needs to be released from custody but I know he may pose a danger to society. But the reason he should get released is because the STATE was fucking around and didn't do there job....(to busy trying to prosecute silly shit)So I don't know what to do. Actually I do but I just don't want this ass hole showing up at my door in a couple of days.....
Its been pretty slow around these parts I am trying to get back on track with things and all. I am getting ready to buy a new car and Christmas shop. (I hate spending money...I growl).
I hope all is going well for everyone. I am gonna head home its getting cold down here and I kinda want some hot cocoa.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
PSA
WE NOW INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMS FOR THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT........THE BITCH HAS LOST HER MIND.
I was suppose to finish my blog on fear of men and bring it all to a close but I have to tell you all about this before I can move on to any other blogs.
Yesterday morning my dad's girlfriend finally left our house and as I was getting ready for work what the hell do I see....she has displayed a picture of her and my dad in our extra bedroom. Okay now let me tell you a little background about this photo. On Saturday I first noticed this picture and politely took it down with no drama. I bring it to my dad's attention on Sunday and ask him is this something that we need to address and he tells me no. I explain to him how I think it is entirely inappropriate for her to display pictures in our house especially of you two. WTF!!! I go on to say that I am sure that she doesn't have photos of my dad and my mom (just the 2 of them) up displayed in her home, nor does she have photos of my dad and his current wife displayed in her home, so why did she think it was okay do display photos of them in our home. He tells me he hadn't even seen the picture up and did know what I was talking about initially. He says that she brought the picture with her and he just put it to the side and she must have put it up. But no we did not need to address this matter because obviously he could see I was in rare form.
So Monday goes by and she hangs out with my aunt (which was funny all by itself) and then my dad drops her off at the house and goes and checks on a friend that had just gotten out the of the hospital. So when we get home we are down stairs watching TV and she is upstairs the entire time. We almost forgot she was up there. So its like 3 or 4 hours later and my mom and I are going to get something to eat and I ask her if she was hungry and she says no she ate left overs from when she was with my aunt. (now you know I had already gotten the skinny from my aunt about there "quality" time) My aunt tells me that she didn't move the entire time she was there (she didn't eat, she didn't piss, she stayed in the same spot the entire time). So I know even if she had eaten her left over it wasn't much and she should be hungry by now. So I call my dad and say "are you gonna be hungry when you get home", he like no, I am like you sure and he is like yes, then he tells me that his friend was cooking so he would eat over there. Then he says that El hetto may be though, I say I asked her and she said she wasn't and I know she hadn't eaten all day, he was like she's a grown ass women if she say she ain't hungry then she ain't hungry. COOL so me and moms get some Popeye's and its on.
Well Tuesday she stays at the house with my mother and my mother says she didn't make a move, not a word not a pep. She stayed in the extra room watching TV and on the computer (note to self check the computer to make sure everything is on the up and up). But once my dad got home he cook and she finally ate (cause she didn't eat since like 6 am and he got home around 4pm). So they are in the extra room all night with the door closed. They were suppose to be leaving for Dallas early Wednesday morning around 3am so my mom calls around 2:45 a.m and they are still sleep OH HELL NAW SHE AINT MISSING HER PLANE and so my dad hops up and makes coffee and gets dress she hops in the shower and gets ready they pack up the car and then she walks back in the living room where my mom and I are sitting up watching DVR stuff (cause we were gonna make sure the got out the house in a timely fashion) and she stands in front of us and says some half hearted thank you and we just look at her and say okay your welcome and then there was a awkward moment and she left. I think she wanted us to get up and hug her, surely she didn't think that. Well any way we go back to sleep and I get up to get ready for work and that's when I see the picture up AGAIN!!! I AM LIVID
I search for her number but couldn't find it I got to work in a shitty mode cause I just know this bitch just disrespect my mother in her own house and me to. So it rains at work and I have to walk back to the office from court in the rain so my anger is building. Fast Forward
I finally get home and locate her work and cell number. I call her on her cell and she says that she is at work. I tell her that I am glad that she got back safely, I tell her I know it was an awkward situation but I hope she felt welcomed and comfortable and she says she does and then I asked her why she thought it was appropriate to display a picture of she and my dad in my mothers house.....the phone goes dead. So I count to 3 and locate her work number cause I know she didn't just hang up on me. So I call her at work and she answers and she says that her phone died and that she didn't have our number to call back (LIE #1- when i called her the first time she said you scared me cause it came up your dad's name and i just got off the phone with him and i thought something was wrong) and then she said my phone's batter is dead and my chargers in the car so I could call you back (LIE#2- cause she said when i called her at work that I just left your dad a message on his phone telling him to tell you to not to think I hung up on you WTF) so I open up with my question again. WHY DID YOU THINK IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO DISPLAY A PHOTO OF YOU AND MY DAD IN MY MOTHER'S HOUSE? She plays dumb like what are you talking about? and then she finally remembers and says I didn't put it up. WTF? Then she says that she just brought a bunch of stuff for my dad and he put it up (LIE#3), then i explained to her that I spoke with my dad about it and told him how I felt. She said nothing was said to her. Then she finally admitted that she did put it up a second time but it was not to disrespect my mother and all she was doing was straightening up (LIE #4) now I told you they were pushed for time when they left, she didn't have time straighten up before they left and if she wanted to straighten up or something why the hell didn't she clean the damn kitchen after my dad cooked (cause i did that once I got home from work). and my other question why did she wait until she left to put it back up. Well I told I was just calling to make sure we were on the same page and that she understood that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WAS SHE EVER WELCOMED TO OUR HOME, DON'T CALL, WRITE STOP BY NOTHING. YOU ARE NOT WELCOMED IN OUR HOME.
so we will see what happens next, my dad hasn't said anything to me yet.....
I was suppose to finish my blog on fear of men and bring it all to a close but I have to tell you all about this before I can move on to any other blogs.
Yesterday morning my dad's girlfriend finally left our house and as I was getting ready for work what the hell do I see....she has displayed a picture of her and my dad in our extra bedroom. Okay now let me tell you a little background about this photo. On Saturday I first noticed this picture and politely took it down with no drama. I bring it to my dad's attention on Sunday and ask him is this something that we need to address and he tells me no. I explain to him how I think it is entirely inappropriate for her to display pictures in our house especially of you two. WTF!!! I go on to say that I am sure that she doesn't have photos of my dad and my mom (just the 2 of them) up displayed in her home, nor does she have photos of my dad and his current wife displayed in her home, so why did she think it was okay do display photos of them in our home. He tells me he hadn't even seen the picture up and did know what I was talking about initially. He says that she brought the picture with her and he just put it to the side and she must have put it up. But no we did not need to address this matter because obviously he could see I was in rare form.
So Monday goes by and she hangs out with my aunt (which was funny all by itself) and then my dad drops her off at the house and goes and checks on a friend that had just gotten out the of the hospital. So when we get home we are down stairs watching TV and she is upstairs the entire time. We almost forgot she was up there. So its like 3 or 4 hours later and my mom and I are going to get something to eat and I ask her if she was hungry and she says no she ate left overs from when she was with my aunt. (now you know I had already gotten the skinny from my aunt about there "quality" time) My aunt tells me that she didn't move the entire time she was there (she didn't eat, she didn't piss, she stayed in the same spot the entire time). So I know even if she had eaten her left over it wasn't much and she should be hungry by now. So I call my dad and say "are you gonna be hungry when you get home", he like no, I am like you sure and he is like yes, then he tells me that his friend was cooking so he would eat over there. Then he says that El hetto may be though, I say I asked her and she said she wasn't and I know she hadn't eaten all day, he was like she's a grown ass women if she say she ain't hungry then she ain't hungry. COOL so me and moms get some Popeye's and its on.
Well Tuesday she stays at the house with my mother and my mother says she didn't make a move, not a word not a pep. She stayed in the extra room watching TV and on the computer (note to self check the computer to make sure everything is on the up and up). But once my dad got home he cook and she finally ate (cause she didn't eat since like 6 am and he got home around 4pm). So they are in the extra room all night with the door closed. They were suppose to be leaving for Dallas early Wednesday morning around 3am so my mom calls around 2:45 a.m and they are still sleep OH HELL NAW SHE AINT MISSING HER PLANE and so my dad hops up and makes coffee and gets dress she hops in the shower and gets ready they pack up the car and then she walks back in the living room where my mom and I are sitting up watching DVR stuff (cause we were gonna make sure the got out the house in a timely fashion) and she stands in front of us and says some half hearted thank you and we just look at her and say okay your welcome and then there was a awkward moment and she left. I think she wanted us to get up and hug her, surely she didn't think that. Well any way we go back to sleep and I get up to get ready for work and that's when I see the picture up AGAIN!!! I AM LIVID
I search for her number but couldn't find it I got to work in a shitty mode cause I just know this bitch just disrespect my mother in her own house and me to. So it rains at work and I have to walk back to the office from court in the rain so my anger is building. Fast Forward
I finally get home and locate her work and cell number. I call her on her cell and she says that she is at work. I tell her that I am glad that she got back safely, I tell her I know it was an awkward situation but I hope she felt welcomed and comfortable and she says she does and then I asked her why she thought it was appropriate to display a picture of she and my dad in my mothers house.....the phone goes dead. So I count to 3 and locate her work number cause I know she didn't just hang up on me. So I call her at work and she answers and she says that her phone died and that she didn't have our number to call back (LIE #1- when i called her the first time she said you scared me cause it came up your dad's name and i just got off the phone with him and i thought something was wrong) and then she said my phone's batter is dead and my chargers in the car so I could call you back (LIE#2- cause she said when i called her at work that I just left your dad a message on his phone telling him to tell you to not to think I hung up on you WTF) so I open up with my question again. WHY DID YOU THINK IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO DISPLAY A PHOTO OF YOU AND MY DAD IN MY MOTHER'S HOUSE? She plays dumb like what are you talking about? and then she finally remembers and says I didn't put it up. WTF? Then she says that she just brought a bunch of stuff for my dad and he put it up (LIE#3), then i explained to her that I spoke with my dad about it and told him how I felt. She said nothing was said to her. Then she finally admitted that she did put it up a second time but it was not to disrespect my mother and all she was doing was straightening up (LIE #4) now I told you they were pushed for time when they left, she didn't have time straighten up before they left and if she wanted to straighten up or something why the hell didn't she clean the damn kitchen after my dad cooked (cause i did that once I got home from work). and my other question why did she wait until she left to put it back up. Well I told I was just calling to make sure we were on the same page and that she understood that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WAS SHE EVER WELCOMED TO OUR HOME, DON'T CALL, WRITE STOP BY NOTHING. YOU ARE NOT WELCOMED IN OUR HOME.
so we will see what happens next, my dad hasn't said anything to me yet.....
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Androphobia- pre college
Androphobia is the fear of men and yes that was me. I know that sounds really crazy but lets open that up. I am my own therapist and each comment you provides goes into my own personal case file for later use, so please comment.
Well I as I posted earlier an old friend of mines accused me of being shy and scary. Which I have to admit, I once was. So less dissect this and try to bring closure.
My relationship history:
My first ever boyfriend was in kindergarten I remember his name and everything, last I heard he was in the NFL. Well we will call him Dr. Spock. He was the fastest boy in my P.E. class and it only seemed right that I be his girlfriend cause I was the fastest girl in the class. But little did he know once I finally beat him racing I would no longer want to be his girlfriend. I think I liked him cause he was faster than me and just as smart as me. Well needless to say that relationship didn't go far.
The next relationship I recall was in 8th grade I dated this guy we will call him Nino Brown. Nino was really sweet to me however he was a thug. My mom liked him because she knew his family some what and thought he was a nice young man. Little did she know. I can remember sitting on the phone and he would sing Shai "If I ever" (I am dying laughing at that memory) and the relationship was good until he wanted to take it further with sex. Talk about afraid of the DICK, I was deathly afraid of it. Actually I was afraid of being pregnant. So we broke up cause I wasn't putting out.
The next guy I dated was this in 8th grade and he was a transfer from (hell I don't remember) I remember him being 6'5 and playing basketball. Well I really liked him and he was nice just tall and awkward-like. We dated for a while and well one day the question came up about me putting out, actually it started with me questioning him about these red marks on his neck and his response was you want do it I had to find somebody else. So we discussed this situation and I came to the decision that maybe I WAS wasting him time cause I wasn't putting out and I didn't want to hinder his sex life any longer. Just a note a few months later he started dating a friend of mines and I don't think she put out either, at least that's what she said, you can never tell, people lie so.
Lets see the the next guy I remember dating was this guy who harassed so when we were in elementary. Hell I think he made me cry. I don't really remember much about this guy so I will move on to the next. He was this white boy (yes I dated a white boy, it was 9th grade). We will call him House of Pain (HOP). HOP was this cool ass white boy who, was down for the cause (LOL--translation he listen to Cypress Hill and House of Pain, hell he knew more rap songs than me) The reason this relationship stuck out in my mind was because we had to hide our relationship from both of our parents cause D'militant wasn't haven't it (my mother) and David Duke (his father) would die right there on the spot if he knew the sweet young lady that called his house all the time was a colored gurl. It was funny cause that's when Bodyguard had come out with Whitney Houston and Kevin Coastner we felt like we could so relate to that movie. LOL!!!
okay prior to this relationship I am about to introduce I never thought I loved somebody and then I dialed his number (of course calling for his older brother). My freshman year we had a guy come and sit in on our class from the high school (I think he was going to college or something) well anyway he was trying to holla and gave me his number and I called. Well the guy I was calling for wasn't there and his little brother answered and some how we began talking. We will call him "Could this be love-NO" (Could this). Could this was a year ahead of me and was at the high school and we talked and began dating. We dated most of my 9th grade year and went to my Freshman prom and all. Well went through a lot (death of his best friend, some emotional things from his past, etc.) we were close. I would meet up at the skating rink and make out. We broke up right before I went the high school but we still like each other. Not sure why we broke up, but we did. We were in Student Council together and eventually he became President. We dated off and on and other people in between. Well like I said we experienced alot, but the final deal breaker was my decision to lose my virginity to someone else (I know you all thought I was still a virgin to this day) and even though we tried to work through that and pass that I don't think he ever forgave me for sleeping with as he would say a "Random Nigga" (oh I forgot Nigga is dead...per the NAACP....R.I.P Nigga) I must say this was the first time that I actually was hurt by a relationship and shit I didn't like it. I also learned that honest ain't the best policy. Random and I were friends (sounds familiar, see blog on pops) and Could this knew we were friends, hell they even talked to one another, even realized they had messed with some of the same girls (not me.....LOL!!!! so one thought). but I night I felt the need to be honest and tell him what was really going on. Do you know the (the dead word) block all my calls. WTF????? see that's the kind of shit that will have me at your door in footie's and a housecoat (LOL, not really). Well I haven't heard from him nor about him.
I think this is where I made my wrong turn. RANDOM. He was this bothersome, wearisome ass brother who tried to holla at ever one. That's what he was known for. Every time you saw him he was up in some girls face trying to holla. he was not the cutest thing, he was dark as 6 midnights, had a high top fade that was high as hell, BUT He had a body like WHOA.... he was the quarterback at his high school and was funny as hell. So I entertained him and one thing lead to another and well....let me back up before one thing lead to another he told me he was going to break up with his girlfriend and be with me (now why did i think that cause i knew he was going to see her after he left me, cause he had to return her car) and I believed him. Well I learned a lot from him never trust a big dick and a smile plus a body like whoa you will get hurt every time. Of course he didn't break up with her, but he still wanted to have me around (SERIOUSLY??) I had to learn my game face (which he taught me). I had to muster up the strength with him on top of me naked as a jay bird to say these words (I AM NOT THAT IN TO YOU, THIS IS DOING NOTHING FOR ME COULD YOU PLEASE GET OFF OF ME I NEED TO GO IRON MY CLOTHES FOR SCHOOL TOMORROW). of course he looks at me with this dumb look and he responds don't be mad at me, stop playing i respond (I AM NOT PLAYIN" I AM SERIOUS) with my game face on and he moves and I proceed to go iron my clothes for school. He tries to talk to me and he realizes that he had created a monster, he acknowledge that I was no longer the shy gyrl he knew and that he was proud of me for not letting him play me and he wished me the best the luck. I will say at the time I was so confused but I have later resolved that what RANDOM was saying is game recognizes game and now you know what it feels like to be play'd never let it happen again. Till this day people see him and say that he asks about me (though he's married).
Now before I graduated from high school I encountered 3 interesting fellas: Shaft, Kwame' and his brother. Shaft was this guy I met not really sure how but my hometown was really small. Shaft had two older brothers, his oldest brother was my dance instructor (he taught Hip Hop) and he was best friends with this guy I occupied time with before Shaft. Now shaft and I had fun, he went to another school and a crazy ex sometimes current sometimes girlfriends. (now this girl had a brother who i used to talked to which was just crazy all around and she didn't like me from that cause she thought I was breaking up her brother and good friend, so needless to say she really didn't like me now that I was messing with her on/off boyfriend). But it wasn't my fault they came after me. Well anyway Shaft and I occupied time, and then his friend that I dated came home for holiday and they were together and it was really awkward. I didn't know they were close and his name never came up until that day. So I had to be honest and tell him how we knew each other. (who said honesty was the best policy) he eventually got over it, but he never looked at me the same and when we ended he told me that I would be back cause I was gonna get down there and get played and come back pregnant before I knew it. For some reason that just hit home and I vowed that would never happen to me that i would not give him the satisfaction of saying I TOLD YOU SO.
Now Kwame' and his brother were some progressive motherphuckers. I Kwame was a year or two older than me and his bother was like age I don't know but I can remember him always saying he could go to jail for phucking with me he was old enough to get alcohol (not sure legally or just on his looks). I initially started talking to the Kwame's brother and we would kick it even though he was to damn old for me. I would go by the house and hang out. Well I went by one day and the brother wasn't there so Kwame and I started talking and next thing I know his tongue is in my mouth WTF.....I don't fuck with brothers. So I guess Kwame saw the look on my face and was like I am so sorry. So by the time we move pass that the brother comes home and all is good well the brother and I just kinda fell off and I never heard from them again. Well the day before I left for college Kwame calls me and says I can't believe you are gonna leave without saying good bye. Well needless to say he came over and we said our good byes. How crazy is this, I was in a major city for a job interview and visiting with friends and I see brother out at a club and pretty much presented and opportunity for us to pick up where we lift off (dude seriously after like 5 years you just want to pick up) well and then just recently when I was on myspace I had both of them as my friend and we would talk and they would covertly suggest we hook up to catch up-----NO THANK YOU!!! and the last straw (okay I need to stop fronting in a sick and twisted way I was flattered) was when Kwame' sent me a message for my birthday saying that he has never forgotten me and the time we shared. For a brief minute I had gotten soft and then I had to come to myself.
Okay I think this is enough therapy for today....I will finish this blog later with my college and post college androphobia.
NOTE I AM NOT SURE HOW LONG THIS WILL STAY UP CAUSE IT IS TRULY SOME PERSONALLY SHIT.......
Well I as I posted earlier an old friend of mines accused me of being shy and scary. Which I have to admit, I once was. So less dissect this and try to bring closure.
My relationship history:
My first ever boyfriend was in kindergarten I remember his name and everything, last I heard he was in the NFL. Well we will call him Dr. Spock. He was the fastest boy in my P.E. class and it only seemed right that I be his girlfriend cause I was the fastest girl in the class. But little did he know once I finally beat him racing I would no longer want to be his girlfriend. I think I liked him cause he was faster than me and just as smart as me. Well needless to say that relationship didn't go far.
The next relationship I recall was in 8th grade I dated this guy we will call him Nino Brown. Nino was really sweet to me however he was a thug. My mom liked him because she knew his family some what and thought he was a nice young man. Little did she know. I can remember sitting on the phone and he would sing Shai "If I ever" (I am dying laughing at that memory) and the relationship was good until he wanted to take it further with sex. Talk about afraid of the DICK, I was deathly afraid of it. Actually I was afraid of being pregnant. So we broke up cause I wasn't putting out.
The next guy I dated was this in 8th grade and he was a transfer from (hell I don't remember) I remember him being 6'5 and playing basketball. Well I really liked him and he was nice just tall and awkward-like. We dated for a while and well one day the question came up about me putting out, actually it started with me questioning him about these red marks on his neck and his response was you want do it I had to find somebody else. So we discussed this situation and I came to the decision that maybe I WAS wasting him time cause I wasn't putting out and I didn't want to hinder his sex life any longer. Just a note a few months later he started dating a friend of mines and I don't think she put out either, at least that's what she said, you can never tell, people lie so.
Lets see the the next guy I remember dating was this guy who harassed so when we were in elementary. Hell I think he made me cry. I don't really remember much about this guy so I will move on to the next. He was this white boy (yes I dated a white boy, it was 9th grade). We will call him House of Pain (HOP). HOP was this cool ass white boy who, was down for the cause (LOL--translation he listen to Cypress Hill and House of Pain, hell he knew more rap songs than me) The reason this relationship stuck out in my mind was because we had to hide our relationship from both of our parents cause D'militant wasn't haven't it (my mother) and David Duke (his father) would die right there on the spot if he knew the sweet young lady that called his house all the time was a colored gurl. It was funny cause that's when Bodyguard had come out with Whitney Houston and Kevin Coastner we felt like we could so relate to that movie. LOL!!!
okay prior to this relationship I am about to introduce I never thought I loved somebody and then I dialed his number (of course calling for his older brother). My freshman year we had a guy come and sit in on our class from the high school (I think he was going to college or something) well anyway he was trying to holla and gave me his number and I called. Well the guy I was calling for wasn't there and his little brother answered and some how we began talking. We will call him "Could this be love-NO" (Could this). Could this was a year ahead of me and was at the high school and we talked and began dating. We dated most of my 9th grade year and went to my Freshman prom and all. Well went through a lot (death of his best friend, some emotional things from his past, etc.) we were close. I would meet up at the skating rink and make out. We broke up right before I went the high school but we still like each other. Not sure why we broke up, but we did. We were in Student Council together and eventually he became President. We dated off and on and other people in between. Well like I said we experienced alot, but the final deal breaker was my decision to lose my virginity to someone else (I know you all thought I was still a virgin to this day) and even though we tried to work through that and pass that I don't think he ever forgave me for sleeping with as he would say a "Random Nigga" (oh I forgot Nigga is dead...per the NAACP....R.I.P Nigga) I must say this was the first time that I actually was hurt by a relationship and shit I didn't like it. I also learned that honest ain't the best policy. Random and I were friends (sounds familiar, see blog on pops) and Could this knew we were friends, hell they even talked to one another, even realized they had messed with some of the same girls (not me.....LOL!!!! so one thought). but I night I felt the need to be honest and tell him what was really going on. Do you know the (the dead word) block all my calls. WTF????? see that's the kind of shit that will have me at your door in footie's and a housecoat (LOL, not really). Well I haven't heard from him nor about him.
I think this is where I made my wrong turn. RANDOM. He was this bothersome, wearisome ass brother who tried to holla at ever one. That's what he was known for. Every time you saw him he was up in some girls face trying to holla. he was not the cutest thing, he was dark as 6 midnights, had a high top fade that was high as hell, BUT He had a body like WHOA.... he was the quarterback at his high school and was funny as hell. So I entertained him and one thing lead to another and well....let me back up before one thing lead to another he told me he was going to break up with his girlfriend and be with me (now why did i think that cause i knew he was going to see her after he left me, cause he had to return her car) and I believed him. Well I learned a lot from him never trust a big dick and a smile plus a body like whoa you will get hurt every time. Of course he didn't break up with her, but he still wanted to have me around (SERIOUSLY??) I had to learn my game face (which he taught me). I had to muster up the strength with him on top of me naked as a jay bird to say these words (I AM NOT THAT IN TO YOU, THIS IS DOING NOTHING FOR ME COULD YOU PLEASE GET OFF OF ME I NEED TO GO IRON MY CLOTHES FOR SCHOOL TOMORROW). of course he looks at me with this dumb look and he responds don't be mad at me, stop playing i respond (I AM NOT PLAYIN" I AM SERIOUS) with my game face on and he moves and I proceed to go iron my clothes for school. He tries to talk to me and he realizes that he had created a monster, he acknowledge that I was no longer the shy gyrl he knew and that he was proud of me for not letting him play me and he wished me the best the luck. I will say at the time I was so confused but I have later resolved that what RANDOM was saying is game recognizes game and now you know what it feels like to be play'd never let it happen again. Till this day people see him and say that he asks about me (though he's married).
Now before I graduated from high school I encountered 3 interesting fellas: Shaft, Kwame' and his brother. Shaft was this guy I met not really sure how but my hometown was really small. Shaft had two older brothers, his oldest brother was my dance instructor (he taught Hip Hop) and he was best friends with this guy I occupied time with before Shaft. Now shaft and I had fun, he went to another school and a crazy ex sometimes current sometimes girlfriends. (now this girl had a brother who i used to talked to which was just crazy all around and she didn't like me from that cause she thought I was breaking up her brother and good friend, so needless to say she really didn't like me now that I was messing with her on/off boyfriend). But it wasn't my fault they came after me. Well anyway Shaft and I occupied time, and then his friend that I dated came home for holiday and they were together and it was really awkward. I didn't know they were close and his name never came up until that day. So I had to be honest and tell him how we knew each other. (who said honesty was the best policy) he eventually got over it, but he never looked at me the same and when we ended he told me that I would be back cause I was gonna get down there and get played and come back pregnant before I knew it. For some reason that just hit home and I vowed that would never happen to me that i would not give him the satisfaction of saying I TOLD YOU SO.
Now Kwame' and his brother were some progressive motherphuckers. I Kwame was a year or two older than me and his bother was like age I don't know but I can remember him always saying he could go to jail for phucking with me he was old enough to get alcohol (not sure legally or just on his looks). I initially started talking to the Kwame's brother and we would kick it even though he was to damn old for me. I would go by the house and hang out. Well I went by one day and the brother wasn't there so Kwame and I started talking and next thing I know his tongue is in my mouth WTF.....I don't fuck with brothers. So I guess Kwame saw the look on my face and was like I am so sorry. So by the time we move pass that the brother comes home and all is good well the brother and I just kinda fell off and I never heard from them again. Well the day before I left for college Kwame calls me and says I can't believe you are gonna leave without saying good bye. Well needless to say he came over and we said our good byes. How crazy is this, I was in a major city for a job interview and visiting with friends and I see brother out at a club and pretty much presented and opportunity for us to pick up where we lift off (dude seriously after like 5 years you just want to pick up) well and then just recently when I was on myspace I had both of them as my friend and we would talk and they would covertly suggest we hook up to catch up-----NO THANK YOU!!! and the last straw (okay I need to stop fronting in a sick and twisted way I was flattered) was when Kwame' sent me a message for my birthday saying that he has never forgotten me and the time we shared. For a brief minute I had gotten soft and then I had to come to myself.
Okay I think this is enough therapy for today....I will finish this blog later with my college and post college androphobia.
NOTE I AM NOT SURE HOW LONG THIS WILL STAY UP CAUSE IT IS TRULY SOME PERSONALLY SHIT.......
i am so NOT the person you use to know
About a month or two ago I ran into a guy I knew while I was in college. I may have blog about him already but just in case. I met him my freshman year in college I can only think of 2 occasions (shout out the the deal) of meeting him, not sure which happened first. One time was at this club called Dreams (oh I was a regular on Thursday nights, thanx smoochz) I remember dancing with him and he taught me how to do the husla husla and we would rock the dance floor (that sounds so 80's) and the second time was at a skating party. Well he was from my same hometown and everything. Over Christmas break we hung and and the next semester we hung out as well. Well that summer I came home and he was home to and was having a party and had invited me. I declined cause i was like I have plans with my friends and his response was you'll should come and I was like naw I'm cool, cause it would be my luck your crazy ex girl would show up and I don't do DRAMA. He was no she want and if you change your mind stop buy. Well I changed my mind and stopped by with my friends. I asked them to stay in the car and I was gonna see if it was lame or what. So I walk up to the door and people are all walking out so I ask if Mr. Jag was there and they were like he is inside so as I move closer to the door he walks out with some chick (yes his ex girlfriend). I say hey and I see that you are busy I was just stopping by give me a call when you get a chance and just walk away. He was shocked to say the least and was like you don't have to leave (as I here ex in the back saying who is that). I was like oh no I am good we are gonna find something else to do. Well that summer he called and called and was trying to apologize and make up. Needless to say I was finished with him.
Well I would see him a few times during my college days and even in my law schools days. Then I saw him a couple of months in church and we have been talking a couple of days. MY POINT your wondering is.
Well I saw him this past weekend and we hung out and had a good time. Well he makes this statement and I just chuckled inside. What does he say "I see you are still afraid and shy". WTF, LOL!!!!!!
I have a confession: there once was a time that I was afraid of men, but that time has come and gone. Okay I will come back and open that up.
Well I would see him a few times during my college days and even in my law schools days. Then I saw him a couple of months in church and we have been talking a couple of days. MY POINT your wondering is.
Well I saw him this past weekend and we hung out and had a good time. Well he makes this statement and I just chuckled inside. What does he say "I see you are still afraid and shy". WTF, LOL!!!!!!
I have a confession: there once was a time that I was afraid of men, but that time has come and gone. Okay I will come back and open that up.
oh the rage.....
Okay its 8:57 and I have clients coming in at 9:00.... okay what has been going on. It has been a really interesting (to say the least weekend). I think the last time I wrote my dad's girlfriend had just come into town. Well she is still here she leaves in the morning, she is back at the house now. Okay let me see if I can catch you up on my father.
My father is a very interesting man (actually if you knew of my grandfather, great-grandfather and even me a little you would understand). My dad has an ex-wife/baby mama (my mother); a wife (we will call her Carole Brady) and girlfriends (we will call her.......El hetto). So lets see my parents married 8/1977 (approx. a year before my introduction to society). The were engaged and my father called it off, he dated a college friend of my aunt (his older sister) and in his words "was wide open" at some point my parents get married. As far back as I can remember my dad has always had a girlfriend. His Modus operandi is that is in a relationship which isn't satisfying him completely meets a female friend at work who he connects with introducing him to the woman who he is in a relationship with then at some point that women begins to question that relationship and then magically they are living together or dating. Case in point. When my family moved to Arkansas my dad was working for Sam Walton and his mighty organization he meet this lady who was his friend from work, at some point he moved in with her and next thing I know they are off to Colorado to live together. Well that didn't work out (surprise surprise) and then he moves to Arizona, California, Kansas and back to Cali. Well his first stay in Cali, he met his Carole (at work of course) he was living with some woman never met her, and it wasn't working out so he moves out to Kansas and next thing I know he is back in California Carole. Well he and Carole date, shack and he attempts to assist with the raising of her kids (another blog for another time) well, my freshman year in college my dad has Carole send my mom the divorce papers cause they are going to get married. Well seeing that my parents had been separated since I was in the 5ht grade I guess it was time to make it official. well my dad and Carole get married (of course I am not invited to the wedding, surprise surprise). Well they move around the Bay Area being the picturesque California extended family and what happens' (my dad meets a friend from work) and well you know it becomes a problem my dad gets mad at his current wife, goes and visits El hetto and history once again repeats itself. Now el hetto gets REALLY REALLY REALLY sick and my dad believes its his responsibility to take care of her because she took care of him when he was ill and is wife made him made and he had to come out to Texas and visit her (yes my dad drove from the Bay area, California to West Texas because he had gotten mad at his wife and the only person he had to got to was El hetto) Well anyway El hetto got sick so my dad pack she and her daughters up and move them to Southern California, and yes he moved there to well they lived there for some time and on random day in July my dad calls me and ask me if he could stay with me until he gets back on his feet, my response was I had to talk with my roommate, (my mother) she was okay with it so he came. FAst Forward a couple of months and we are here and his girlfriend comes to visit. WHAT THE HELL....okay reader let me pose a hypothetical to you, if the man you are living sales his car, quits his job, packs up all his shit, gets on a train and goes to live with his ex-wife and daughter in another time zone wouldn't you think maybe its me? or at least maybe he does want to be with me. Why in the hell would you entertain visiting him at his ex-wife/daughters home and consider moving there. WTF.....
Okay my 9:00 is here (yeah its 9:19) so I think this a good stopping point
My father is a very interesting man (actually if you knew of my grandfather, great-grandfather and even me a little you would understand). My dad has an ex-wife/baby mama (my mother); a wife (we will call her Carole Brady) and girlfriends (we will call her.......El hetto). So lets see my parents married 8/1977 (approx. a year before my introduction to society). The were engaged and my father called it off, he dated a college friend of my aunt (his older sister) and in his words "was wide open" at some point my parents get married. As far back as I can remember my dad has always had a girlfriend. His Modus operandi is that is in a relationship which isn't satisfying him completely meets a female friend at work who he connects with introducing him to the woman who he is in a relationship with then at some point that women begins to question that relationship and then magically they are living together or dating. Case in point. When my family moved to Arkansas my dad was working for Sam Walton and his mighty organization he meet this lady who was his friend from work, at some point he moved in with her and next thing I know they are off to Colorado to live together. Well that didn't work out (surprise surprise) and then he moves to Arizona, California, Kansas and back to Cali. Well his first stay in Cali, he met his Carole (at work of course) he was living with some woman never met her, and it wasn't working out so he moves out to Kansas and next thing I know he is back in California Carole. Well he and Carole date, shack and he attempts to assist with the raising of her kids (another blog for another time) well, my freshman year in college my dad has Carole send my mom the divorce papers cause they are going to get married. Well seeing that my parents had been separated since I was in the 5ht grade I guess it was time to make it official. well my dad and Carole get married (of course I am not invited to the wedding, surprise surprise). Well they move around the Bay Area being the picturesque California extended family and what happens' (my dad meets a friend from work) and well you know it becomes a problem my dad gets mad at his current wife, goes and visits El hetto and history once again repeats itself. Now el hetto gets REALLY REALLY REALLY sick and my dad believes its his responsibility to take care of her because she took care of him when he was ill and is wife made him made and he had to come out to Texas and visit her (yes my dad drove from the Bay area, California to West Texas because he had gotten mad at his wife and the only person he had to got to was El hetto) Well anyway El hetto got sick so my dad pack she and her daughters up and move them to Southern California, and yes he moved there to well they lived there for some time and on random day in July my dad calls me and ask me if he could stay with me until he gets back on his feet, my response was I had to talk with my roommate, (my mother) she was okay with it so he came. FAst Forward a couple of months and we are here and his girlfriend comes to visit. WHAT THE HELL....okay reader let me pose a hypothetical to you, if the man you are living sales his car, quits his job, packs up all his shit, gets on a train and goes to live with his ex-wife and daughter in another time zone wouldn't you think maybe its me? or at least maybe he does want to be with me. Why in the hell would you entertain visiting him at his ex-wife/daughters home and consider moving there. WTF.....
Okay my 9:00 is here (yeah its 9:19) so I think this a good stopping point
Friday, October 12, 2007
OH SHIT, WHY DID I DO THAT!!!!
Okay I was looking at my blogs and realized that I have hit a milestone (hey celebrate the little victories), I have written 10 blogs. But I also realized that the only person reading was my dear linesister Serenity23 (maybe because I haven't invited anyone else). So what do I do I go to my contacts and invite several people who's opinion I value. WHAT THE HELL I GO AND DO THAT FOR!!!! SHIT NOW I CAN'T BLOG ABOUT THEM CAUSE THERE READING BACK TO WHERE I STARTED NOT ABLE TO SAY WHAT I REALLY THINK OR WHAT I REALLY FEEL.......i refuse to be suppressed in my house and damnit this is my house (who's house----Run's house, scratch that Freespeech22's house) So I welcome you all but hey if the shoe fits you got to wear it and I welcome you to correct me when i am wrong but remember i have the power of deletion.
In addition to Bringin' Sexy Back I got to drop off some of this baggage before i turn 30. So I welcome your help. Goes I am gonna be BranNew 8.23.08 @ 7:12 a.m.
LOVE YOU
In addition to Bringin' Sexy Back I got to drop off some of this baggage before i turn 30. So I welcome your help. Goes I am gonna be BranNew 8.23.08 @ 7:12 a.m.
LOVE YOU
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
This is what happens when you write a blog for three days
The last time I wrote I said that Serenity23 was fucking with me and I promise she is.....the reason I am doing this particular blog is because she sent me a note and said "uh, where's today's blog". Truth be told I wasn't doing anything I was on the phone with MCI (bitches) with a guy who sounded like the slushy guy off the Simpson's but he tells me his name is Mark, now you know his name ain't Mark. anyway...I actually started this blog earlier but so how got side tracked and never got back to it.
But Serenity23 isn't the only one fucking with me. We will call him Mr. Phuck-around-to-phuck around (Mr. PaP for short). Let me tell you about this guy. I met him my last year in law school he is from North Louisiana like myself. I didn't really give him the time a day in law school cause I felt he was full of shit. I based that off the fact he couldn't/wouldn't/didn't (or that's what I thought) be honest with me about his relationship with a classmates of mines. He would just say they were study partners and maybe she had feelings for him but that was her. Now mind you this girl completely stopped talking to me, associating with me and pretty much started acting stank with me when Mr. Pap started showing some interest in me. I would constantly give him opportunities to just say what it was going on, but because he never did I just kept him at a distance. I thought he was interesting but I still thought he was full of shit. Well fast forward about 3 years forward. The amazing tools of myspace (which I am no longer on) and its ability to reconnect friends and foes. Well we reconnected and chit chat and I found myself interested. Well for those that don't know I have some strange ways, one day we were talking and he was saying how he needed to come up my way and what not I told him that if he came my way and didn't call I would never talk to him again. Well the day came that he was to be in town and no call .....DELETE. and besides I was dating someone who pretty much had my extra time and attention. Well fast forward a couple of months and my boyfriend and I are no longer together and I am in the middle of my first jury trial and he calls. Actually I think I had just gotten my verdict (GUILTY) and was pretty bummed out. Cause this guy was offered 10 years and now is looking at up to 30. well anyway I talk with him and he has just the right words something to the effect "this verdict is no reflection on your abilities as a lawyer". Damn he just fell right in with that.
IT SHOULD BE NOTED I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS BLOG FOR DAYS (back to your regularly scheduled programs)
I was like yeah and felt a lot better. He just know what to say, he is a great listener he is wonderful. Problem he lives an hour and a half away from me and he is seeing someone (not sure how serious it is but he is none the less). The first time I went to see him I met his family (that shit threw me for a loop) cause in my world you have to be around for a minutes (like months) before you meet the family cause I don't want them getting attached to you cause you may not be around long. well anyway he was asking all the right questions and I was working through whatever it was that was bothering me (see had i finished earlier I it would have been all good). Well fast forward to today, I have have issues (that's an understatement) but if I don't feel like I am getting my required attention (and yes it various from day to day) I will pretty much be done with you. Well I called him Wednesday and Thursday and he was busy and never called me back. (I HATE THAT) so I am glad I never programed him back into my phone (speaking of which I need to delete some names and numbers).
So what's going on with me...not sure. This started out as one thing but has evolved into another. When I was talking to Mr. PaPa I was telling him how I felt like sometimes I was the glue that held my family together, like there are so many expectations for me that there really isn't time for me to be me (whoever that is). Case in point- My father has moved back to LA and is living with my mother and I (this family dynamic hasn't happened in like 20years) well anyway his girlfriend was coming to visit (another blog for another day). So my father was dealing with those logistics and what not (cause she wasn't staying with us). Well my dad started a new job this week that he is so excited about. Well last night/this morning his girlfriends flight comes in (at an airport 3+ hours away), they were suppose to be staying at his best friends house (who is going through a divorce) but that fell through, so they show up at the house at like 6:45 a.m. and my dad is apologizing but like I am not going to work (that's shit you just started) so I get in my ZONE I tell my dad that he needs to get dressed for work cause he is not going to be late, I tell his girlfriend she can have my room, the DirectTV man was suppose to coming between 8-12, so my mom stays at home in case he calls or comes. So I take my Dad to work, his girlfriend comes with us. We get back and I lay down for a minute then just when I was getting in the shower the DirectTV guy shows up and does his installations (which I have to be there for cause my mom would have been paralyzed by his presence) So I call work and tell them I am gonna be late for my meeting (this is why I can't leave) actually end up moving them to early Tuesday morning (ass kicker) get that squared away, call Kari and cancel my hair appointment and schedule one for next Friday cause I have things to do and make sure they get done. Call my aunt and let her know that I am picking my dad up and head into work.
So what was suppose to be an easy breezy day is not.....I haven't even really eaten today cause I am just trying to make sure all goes well. A friend of mines is coming into town and wanted to do dinner but I am not sure if I can. I have to work at a Heart Walk tomorrow morning and have a deb. ball meeting Sunday....so I don't know what I am gonna do.
Like I said this blog was started out to be so different, I was gonna address some concerns I was having one in particular "Can you be aggravated with God?" I will try to pray on that and well blog about that later (next week).
Sorry for the ramble but I had to finish this blog some way.
But Serenity23 isn't the only one fucking with me. We will call him Mr. Phuck-around-to-phuck around (Mr. PaP for short). Let me tell you about this guy. I met him my last year in law school he is from North Louisiana like myself. I didn't really give him the time a day in law school cause I felt he was full of shit. I based that off the fact he couldn't/wouldn't/didn't (or that's what I thought) be honest with me about his relationship with a classmates of mines. He would just say they were study partners and maybe she had feelings for him but that was her. Now mind you this girl completely stopped talking to me, associating with me and pretty much started acting stank with me when Mr. Pap started showing some interest in me. I would constantly give him opportunities to just say what it was going on, but because he never did I just kept him at a distance. I thought he was interesting but I still thought he was full of shit. Well fast forward about 3 years forward. The amazing tools of myspace (which I am no longer on) and its ability to reconnect friends and foes. Well we reconnected and chit chat and I found myself interested. Well for those that don't know I have some strange ways, one day we were talking and he was saying how he needed to come up my way and what not I told him that if he came my way and didn't call I would never talk to him again. Well the day came that he was to be in town and no call .....DELETE. and besides I was dating someone who pretty much had my extra time and attention. Well fast forward a couple of months and my boyfriend and I are no longer together and I am in the middle of my first jury trial and he calls. Actually I think I had just gotten my verdict (GUILTY) and was pretty bummed out. Cause this guy was offered 10 years and now is looking at up to 30. well anyway I talk with him and he has just the right words something to the effect "this verdict is no reflection on your abilities as a lawyer". Damn he just fell right in with that.
IT SHOULD BE NOTED I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS BLOG FOR DAYS (back to your regularly scheduled programs)
I was like yeah and felt a lot better. He just know what to say, he is a great listener he is wonderful. Problem he lives an hour and a half away from me and he is seeing someone (not sure how serious it is but he is none the less). The first time I went to see him I met his family (that shit threw me for a loop) cause in my world you have to be around for a minutes (like months) before you meet the family cause I don't want them getting attached to you cause you may not be around long. well anyway he was asking all the right questions and I was working through whatever it was that was bothering me (see had i finished earlier I it would have been all good). Well fast forward to today, I have have issues (that's an understatement) but if I don't feel like I am getting my required attention (and yes it various from day to day) I will pretty much be done with you. Well I called him Wednesday and Thursday and he was busy and never called me back. (I HATE THAT) so I am glad I never programed him back into my phone (speaking of which I need to delete some names and numbers).
So what's going on with me...not sure. This started out as one thing but has evolved into another. When I was talking to Mr. PaPa I was telling him how I felt like sometimes I was the glue that held my family together, like there are so many expectations for me that there really isn't time for me to be me (whoever that is). Case in point- My father has moved back to LA and is living with my mother and I (this family dynamic hasn't happened in like 20years) well anyway his girlfriend was coming to visit (another blog for another day). So my father was dealing with those logistics and what not (cause she wasn't staying with us). Well my dad started a new job this week that he is so excited about. Well last night/this morning his girlfriends flight comes in (at an airport 3+ hours away), they were suppose to be staying at his best friends house (who is going through a divorce) but that fell through, so they show up at the house at like 6:45 a.m. and my dad is apologizing but like I am not going to work (that's shit you just started) so I get in my ZONE I tell my dad that he needs to get dressed for work cause he is not going to be late, I tell his girlfriend she can have my room, the DirectTV man was suppose to coming between 8-12, so my mom stays at home in case he calls or comes. So I take my Dad to work, his girlfriend comes with us. We get back and I lay down for a minute then just when I was getting in the shower the DirectTV guy shows up and does his installations (which I have to be there for cause my mom would have been paralyzed by his presence) So I call work and tell them I am gonna be late for my meeting (this is why I can't leave) actually end up moving them to early Tuesday morning (ass kicker) get that squared away, call Kari and cancel my hair appointment and schedule one for next Friday cause I have things to do and make sure they get done. Call my aunt and let her know that I am picking my dad up and head into work.
So what was suppose to be an easy breezy day is not.....I haven't even really eaten today cause I am just trying to make sure all goes well. A friend of mines is coming into town and wanted to do dinner but I am not sure if I can. I have to work at a Heart Walk tomorrow morning and have a deb. ball meeting Sunday....so I don't know what I am gonna do.
Like I said this blog was started out to be so different, I was gonna address some concerns I was having one in particular "Can you be aggravated with God?" I will try to pray on that and well blog about that later (next week).
Sorry for the ramble but I had to finish this blog some way.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Back Door whispering in my ear.......
Okay if you haven't figured it out Serenity23 is my line sister, my back door and it was her that motivated me to began blogging. Occasionally she poses these questions on her blog about this that and another and I am feel its the responsible thing to do is to respond so on her last blog this is what she proposes. Just a side note, I thinks she is fucking with me, reading my mind, or something cause this is truly some sick timing.
1. Do you know what your purpose is?
UGH no, I tried to do Rick Warren's book a purpose driven life but I just didn't finish it.....I wonder sometimes weather I made a wrong turn back there and have completely missed my purpose and this is as good as it gets......Oh the humanity (I cry if it is).
2. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Oh so many things. (a) Politician like Lt. Governor of Arkansas or Vice-President not in charged but close to being in charged I wanted POWER but no RESPONSIBILITY....LOL!!! (b) Ab attorney cause I thought that would be cool and people said that would be good for me cause as a child I saw things differently, asked a bunch and talk a lot. (c) Archaeologist- I loved history and wanted to dig in Egypt and find cool artifacts (not like Indiana Jones) something more serious and respected. (d) Psychologist cause I just believe the human mind is fascinating and I could really help people. (e) Sociologist cause I love to watch people and study them I have a friend and we have people in our lives that we call "case studies" and we truly sit and discuss them from top to bottom, inside out. (f) Robotic Engineer-I loved the thought of creating something that could help people and I love building and mechanical stuff.
3. Is that what you are now?
I am an attorney...and that is truly by the grace of God.....As for the other things when I got to college I was intimidated by the curriculum (okay I was just lazy and didn't want anything to hard, so I majored in Information Systems Decision Science....LOL!!!) Most of these disciplines were in the Arts and Science College and you had to take at least 2 years of a foreign language and that just wasn't for me. I took 2 years of Spanish in high school and all I developed was a dislike for Spanish speaking people, I am not sure if it was its presentation or what and I only new that Spanish on a college level would only expose me to being in the Clock Tower with a riffle so I passed and went with ISDS.
4. What people in life did you admire?
I admired Flo-Jo (cause I thought I was going to be a track star, not the Olympics or anything but maybe just college scholarship or something (okay I quit track like my Jr. year in High School but I started loosing interest my sophomore year when my coach put me on hurdles. My mother to this day I am terrified of having kids cause I don't think I will be half the mother my mother was and anything less the perfect (being my mom) is unacceptable and unfair to my children. MJW- she is a woman who is at my old church she is full of wisdom and knowledge she has lived a Christian life and she is someone I want to be like when i grow up. Ms.Pochoo- she was this woman in my old church who i just thought was the greatest she use to sing this song "If anybody ask you who I am...." and tear the house down. I love her voice, her spirit she was real, I remember her talking about her days in the clubs and how she would be after drinking whiskey and say it was like the table would say "Get up her come on and get up her and dance" she was so honest and truthful about her walk, she would say I ain't always been in the church. I just loved that about her.
5. What were you created for?
Not really sure I think I may be in the boot camp phase of my creation and hopefully if I stay (get) diligent over what I have now the Lord will bless me with more. I believe what I am doing now is what am suppose to be doing. Cause as much as I hate it I still have a peace, as much as i want to quit I still come back each day.
1. Do you know what your purpose is?
UGH no, I tried to do Rick Warren's book a purpose driven life but I just didn't finish it.....I wonder sometimes weather I made a wrong turn back there and have completely missed my purpose and this is as good as it gets......Oh the humanity (I cry if it is).
2. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Oh so many things. (a) Politician like Lt. Governor of Arkansas or Vice-President not in charged but close to being in charged I wanted POWER but no RESPONSIBILITY....LOL!!! (b) Ab attorney cause I thought that would be cool and people said that would be good for me cause as a child I saw things differently, asked a bunch and talk a lot. (c) Archaeologist- I loved history and wanted to dig in Egypt and find cool artifacts (not like Indiana Jones) something more serious and respected. (d) Psychologist cause I just believe the human mind is fascinating and I could really help people. (e) Sociologist cause I love to watch people and study them I have a friend and we have people in our lives that we call "case studies" and we truly sit and discuss them from top to bottom, inside out. (f) Robotic Engineer-I loved the thought of creating something that could help people and I love building and mechanical stuff.
3. Is that what you are now?
I am an attorney...and that is truly by the grace of God.....As for the other things when I got to college I was intimidated by the curriculum (okay I was just lazy and didn't want anything to hard, so I majored in Information Systems Decision Science....LOL!!!) Most of these disciplines were in the Arts and Science College and you had to take at least 2 years of a foreign language and that just wasn't for me. I took 2 years of Spanish in high school and all I developed was a dislike for Spanish speaking people, I am not sure if it was its presentation or what and I only new that Spanish on a college level would only expose me to being in the Clock Tower with a riffle so I passed and went with ISDS.
4. What people in life did you admire?
I admired Flo-Jo (cause I thought I was going to be a track star, not the Olympics or anything but maybe just college scholarship or something (okay I quit track like my Jr. year in High School but I started loosing interest my sophomore year when my coach put me on hurdles. My mother to this day I am terrified of having kids cause I don't think I will be half the mother my mother was and anything less the perfect (being my mom) is unacceptable and unfair to my children. MJW- she is a woman who is at my old church she is full of wisdom and knowledge she has lived a Christian life and she is someone I want to be like when i grow up. Ms.Pochoo- she was this woman in my old church who i just thought was the greatest she use to sing this song "If anybody ask you who I am...." and tear the house down. I love her voice, her spirit she was real, I remember her talking about her days in the clubs and how she would be after drinking whiskey and say it was like the table would say "Get up her come on and get up her and dance" she was so honest and truthful about her walk, she would say I ain't always been in the church. I just loved that about her.
5. What were you created for?
Not really sure I think I may be in the boot camp phase of my creation and hopefully if I stay (get) diligent over what I have now the Lord will bless me with more. I believe what I am doing now is what am suppose to be doing. Cause as much as I hate it I still have a peace, as much as i want to quit I still come back each day.
Catching up....
The last time I wrote I was sick (that was Wednesday). So much has happened but not really. lets see.
Thursday I got a disturbing call from one of my study partners in law school. She called to tell me about a shooting in Alexandria. Once of my classmates from law school was killed along with the postman. His father and uncle were shot and are still fighting for there life. This hit me really hard not because we were close but because we are in the same profession. He was a private attorney who (I guess) did a general practice, it was a family law firm and this guy just came in opening fire. I on the other had do criminal defense, and have all types of characters coming in and out of our office we represent all sorts of criminals. It just weird how short life can be.
What else is going on. Well I found out my crush is engaged. Yeah that sucks. Okay who or what am I talking about. Okay, when I first moved back I attended these "mardi gras meeting" and there was this guy that caught my eye (but of course I never said a thing). Well one day this older lady (bless older peoples heart, they just don't know) just randomly ask me if I was seeing anyone (which always raises an eyebrow) and I responded no and then she says (loudly) oh you and Crush should get together (oh Dear God, please open up this floor and swallow me whole) I of course act uninterested and shy and shame and needless to say never went back to the meeting. Well fast forward like 2 -3 years later I see this guy at a Bingo Hall were I volunteer (he was volunteering as well) and listen to him talk and find myself even more attracted to him. Well so I am having lunch with a friend and decided to find out somethings about him and see what comes back on his "intelligence report". Everything comes back GOOD and a GEAUX (shout out to the Tigers). Fast forward a few weeks, I take a play out of Serenity23's play book and decided I was gonna shoot him an email via Facebook to see if he wanted to do lunch (I should have known something was wrong with this when wouldn't go through but I waited and tried later and it went through). So I waited and waited to get a response but nothing so I just figure (1) he didn't get it or (2) he got it and didn't want to do lunch either way I was moving on (and noting the books on being brave and bold---stepping outside one's box may not be my thing). So yesterday I had the pleasure of seeing him not once but twice.....Damn it I never see this dude. I see him at a restaurant with some lady (who I will assume is his fiance) and then in the newspaper. When I see him in the restaurant I am being escorted out by my friends 5 year old son (now anyone who knows me and kids knows that my behavior is usually so NON-adult) and as we pass there table I just make eye contact and all I could say is HEY!!! as I am being PULLED out. Well later that night I am reading flipping through the paper (mind you I hardly ever read the paper) and who do I see CRUSH and his fiance in the Living section WTF!!!!! Needless to say I feel absolutely stupid. So today I call my friend who did my intelligence report to find out how this was over looked, and he tells me he just found out and that he was out of town last week and found out right before he left UGH (i growl). Well that's that folks.....
WORK---is kicking my behind.
I was think about my past and who I was and who I am now and was somewhat sadden by the transformation (Tourette moment Transformers on DVD Oct. 16). I use to be so active and involved with EVERYTHING and now I hardly do anything. So I have gotten back involved with Sorority (which as I am seeing can be a LARGE commitment). I also remember that when I have a full (not excessively full) plate I function better. So just going to work, church, library, family's home, occasional visit to Wal-mart and miscellaneous stores just isn't gonna get it for me. I need to get out more and make friends (cause I really don't have any friends) okay I do but not like talking about. So we will see what happens.....
I will address Serenity's challenge in my next blog.
Thursday I got a disturbing call from one of my study partners in law school. She called to tell me about a shooting in Alexandria. Once of my classmates from law school was killed along with the postman. His father and uncle were shot and are still fighting for there life. This hit me really hard not because we were close but because we are in the same profession. He was a private attorney who (I guess) did a general practice, it was a family law firm and this guy just came in opening fire. I on the other had do criminal defense, and have all types of characters coming in and out of our office we represent all sorts of criminals. It just weird how short life can be.
What else is going on. Well I found out my crush is engaged. Yeah that sucks. Okay who or what am I talking about. Okay, when I first moved back I attended these "mardi gras meeting" and there was this guy that caught my eye (but of course I never said a thing). Well one day this older lady (bless older peoples heart, they just don't know) just randomly ask me if I was seeing anyone (which always raises an eyebrow) and I responded no and then she says (loudly) oh you and Crush should get together (oh Dear God, please open up this floor and swallow me whole) I of course act uninterested and shy and shame and needless to say never went back to the meeting. Well fast forward like 2 -3 years later I see this guy at a Bingo Hall were I volunteer (he was volunteering as well) and listen to him talk and find myself even more attracted to him. Well so I am having lunch with a friend and decided to find out somethings about him and see what comes back on his "intelligence report". Everything comes back GOOD and a GEAUX (shout out to the Tigers). Fast forward a few weeks, I take a play out of Serenity23's play book and decided I was gonna shoot him an email via Facebook to see if he wanted to do lunch (I should have known something was wrong with this when wouldn't go through but I waited and tried later and it went through). So I waited and waited to get a response but nothing so I just figure (1) he didn't get it or (2) he got it and didn't want to do lunch either way I was moving on (and noting the books on being brave and bold---stepping outside one's box may not be my thing). So yesterday I had the pleasure of seeing him not once but twice.....Damn it I never see this dude. I see him at a restaurant with some lady (who I will assume is his fiance) and then in the newspaper. When I see him in the restaurant I am being escorted out by my friends 5 year old son (now anyone who knows me and kids knows that my behavior is usually so NON-adult) and as we pass there table I just make eye contact and all I could say is HEY!!! as I am being PULLED out. Well later that night I am reading flipping through the paper (mind you I hardly ever read the paper) and who do I see CRUSH and his fiance in the Living section WTF!!!!! Needless to say I feel absolutely stupid. So today I call my friend who did my intelligence report to find out how this was over looked, and he tells me he just found out and that he was out of town last week and found out right before he left UGH (i growl). Well that's that folks.....
WORK---is kicking my behind.
I was think about my past and who I was and who I am now and was somewhat sadden by the transformation (Tourette moment Transformers on DVD Oct. 16). I use to be so active and involved with EVERYTHING and now I hardly do anything. So I have gotten back involved with Sorority (which as I am seeing can be a LARGE commitment). I also remember that when I have a full (not excessively full) plate I function better. So just going to work, church, library, family's home, occasional visit to Wal-mart and miscellaneous stores just isn't gonna get it for me. I need to get out more and make friends (cause I really don't have any friends) okay I do but not like talking about. So we will see what happens.....
I will address Serenity's challenge in my next blog.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Damn it I am sick......
I hate being sick.....I am a big baby and my mother isn't for that nurturing shit. My mother and I are car pooling right now and I get in the car and announce I am sick and she proceeds to tell me why. She believes its because I don't slow down. Her theory--- if I would get up in the morning a bet earlier (yeah right) and get in the shower and once I get out take some time to cool off and get dressed and then got to the car I wouldn't be getting sick. Cause in the morning I jump out of bad (usually cause I have over slept) hope in the shower, put on my clothes and then run to the car. By the time I get to the car i am on fire (i usually have sweat running down my face and/or back) then I get to work walk fast to the office pick up my files run to the courthouse and if i am feeling good take 2 flights of stairs and then sit down (once again I am on fire sweat running down my back and on my face) depending on what rocket scientist in working the thermostat the heat may be on or the air or nothing. I finally cool off then back to the office.
Well so I colleague is talking to me and I announce I am sick (damn can I get some nurturing around her) she is like what is wrong with you you been sick a lot.....I tell her my mom's theory and she says I told you to slow your ass down.... you need to stop and smell the rose (WTF) who has time to do that. She says I need to just slow down and not get so worked up when things don't go my way (once again WTF). I am gonna wear myself out trying to keep this pace.
I will admit i am somewhat an extreme person, only because I don't have a balance I give 100% until I am burnt out and hopefully that carries me over my burn out period and then it starts all over again.
Random---today a private attorney approached me about coming and working for her. Now I had just decided I was not going to look for another job because I was gonna start applying for school. When I came to my job I had a 3 year plan i was going to practice for 3 years walk away with 40% of my retirement and go back and get my LLM. I wanted to start applying November/December so that in the event I get rejected I would have another year to apply and if I got accepted I could possible defer my admission for a year. So I will have to pray and think about it. any thoughts?????
Well so I colleague is talking to me and I announce I am sick (damn can I get some nurturing around her) she is like what is wrong with you you been sick a lot.....I tell her my mom's theory and she says I told you to slow your ass down.... you need to stop and smell the rose (WTF) who has time to do that. She says I need to just slow down and not get so worked up when things don't go my way (once again WTF). I am gonna wear myself out trying to keep this pace.
I will admit i am somewhat an extreme person, only because I don't have a balance I give 100% until I am burnt out and hopefully that carries me over my burn out period and then it starts all over again.
Random---today a private attorney approached me about coming and working for her. Now I had just decided I was not going to look for another job because I was gonna start applying for school. When I came to my job I had a 3 year plan i was going to practice for 3 years walk away with 40% of my retirement and go back and get my LLM. I wanted to start applying November/December so that in the event I get rejected I would have another year to apply and if I got accepted I could possible defer my admission for a year. So I will have to pray and think about it. any thoughts?????
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
3 things I love.....
Okay I am trying to get caught up and get it together and as I sit here and type I think I may be getting sick...Damn, I hate getting sick.
Okay so Serenity calls me out and wants to know 3 things I like/love. Let's see: (1) sleep (2) history (3) movies and (4) music. Okay I know that's four but I figured sleep would not be acceptable.
SLEEP
I am sure you are wondering how do you love sleeping, I don't know I just do. When I was in high school I functioned on 10 hours of sleep. Well needless to say that changed once I got to college, but that's when I was introduced to power naps. My only serious relationship in college one of my favorite things to do with my boyfriend was take naps, hell he would have to TV on watching who knows what and I would just snuggle up under him and go to sleep. Hell I thought that was quality time and if he started talking to me I would get so irritated that he would be talking it was bad enough he had the TV on. When I was in law school I live about 15 minutes from school and was notorious for going home when we had a 2+ hour break, eating lunch or working out showering and taking a 30-45 min. power nap. Even now I will leave work and go take a nap. It truly brings me joy to know I can fit a nap in my day. When I am stressed out or frustrated a nap is all I need.
HISTORY
I am a true history dork. I love historical stuff. When I lived in Baton Rouge I stayed downtown in the building that was part of the Historical Registry, there would be times I would walk downtown and read all the signs and stuff. I loved the History channel, now why didn't I major in History in college cause it was in the Arts& Science college and I didn't want to take a foreign language. One of my favorite spots in Baton Rouge was Redemption Fountain. It was downtown across the street from the river and it marked the place where they put criminals on display for the public. I have this personal fascination with Mississippi and my friends think it so crazy. I really wish I could take a year off and just tour the state and research and learn so much. The Plantation homes and antebellum architect. Oh I could go on. I love historical stuff. I just find it fascinating. I am trying to convince my road dog for our 30th birthday that we go to Boston. Oh the history there.
MOVIES
Okay, I love movies anything but horror. I don't do scary movies and I would rather do them at home. I am not a fan of going to the theater cause its just to much going on, babies, couples vernacular tradition (especially if its a black movie). One of the last movies I saw in the theater was Transformers and oh that was made for the big screen would have missed out on so much watching it at home. I love action, historical (of course) and independent. I love movies that provoke thought. Movies are a visual escape from my reality. Movie time is happy time whether its sad or not. Last night I watched Notes on a Scandal with Judi Dench and Cate Blanchet, I found it to be EXCELLENT.
MUSIC
I am love all genres except screw. I have everything from country (Dixie chicks) to alternative (Cree summer, yeah the chick from different world). I love to purchase a new cd and read the lyrics and the liner notes see who wrote the song, who produced the song and if any samples are used, actually I try to guess and see if I can name the tune. My last CD purchases where (actually Friday) Jill Scott (EXCELLENT) and Chrisette Michelle (GOOD, she is still growing on me and I haven't being giving her a fair chance cause I have been listening to Jill on continuous play.) My dad use to be a DJ and we have all kinds of albums in the house GAP band, shalamar, peter frampton, you name it, if it was a hit in the late 70's early to mid 80's we got the LP. Music sometimes provides the words on how I feel about somethings. I am never short for words but occasionally when it comes to my feeling/emotions I am MUTE. So when I hear Indie.Aire or Jill Scott or Pharcyde or Black Eye Peas (before Fergie) I am like yeah that's it. I am actually gonna start picking up some old school like George Benson and George Duke, Quincy Jones.
Okay well I must run off to the jail to visit my clients and then I have a Eye Dr. appt. and then maybe a trip to Nachtochies to take my cousin back to school.
Take care
Okay so Serenity calls me out and wants to know 3 things I like/love. Let's see: (1) sleep (2) history (3) movies and (4) music. Okay I know that's four but I figured sleep would not be acceptable.
SLEEP
I am sure you are wondering how do you love sleeping, I don't know I just do. When I was in high school I functioned on 10 hours of sleep. Well needless to say that changed once I got to college, but that's when I was introduced to power naps. My only serious relationship in college one of my favorite things to do with my boyfriend was take naps, hell he would have to TV on watching who knows what and I would just snuggle up under him and go to sleep. Hell I thought that was quality time and if he started talking to me I would get so irritated that he would be talking it was bad enough he had the TV on. When I was in law school I live about 15 minutes from school and was notorious for going home when we had a 2+ hour break, eating lunch or working out showering and taking a 30-45 min. power nap. Even now I will leave work and go take a nap. It truly brings me joy to know I can fit a nap in my day. When I am stressed out or frustrated a nap is all I need.
HISTORY
I am a true history dork. I love historical stuff. When I lived in Baton Rouge I stayed downtown in the building that was part of the Historical Registry, there would be times I would walk downtown and read all the signs and stuff. I loved the History channel, now why didn't I major in History in college cause it was in the Arts& Science college and I didn't want to take a foreign language. One of my favorite spots in Baton Rouge was Redemption Fountain. It was downtown across the street from the river and it marked the place where they put criminals on display for the public. I have this personal fascination with Mississippi and my friends think it so crazy. I really wish I could take a year off and just tour the state and research and learn so much. The Plantation homes and antebellum architect. Oh I could go on. I love historical stuff. I just find it fascinating. I am trying to convince my road dog for our 30th birthday that we go to Boston. Oh the history there.
MOVIES
Okay, I love movies anything but horror. I don't do scary movies and I would rather do them at home. I am not a fan of going to the theater cause its just to much going on, babies, couples vernacular tradition (especially if its a black movie). One of the last movies I saw in the theater was Transformers and oh that was made for the big screen would have missed out on so much watching it at home. I love action, historical (of course) and independent. I love movies that provoke thought. Movies are a visual escape from my reality. Movie time is happy time whether its sad or not. Last night I watched Notes on a Scandal with Judi Dench and Cate Blanchet, I found it to be EXCELLENT.
MUSIC
I am love all genres except screw. I have everything from country (Dixie chicks) to alternative (Cree summer, yeah the chick from different world). I love to purchase a new cd and read the lyrics and the liner notes see who wrote the song, who produced the song and if any samples are used, actually I try to guess and see if I can name the tune. My last CD purchases where (actually Friday) Jill Scott (EXCELLENT) and Chrisette Michelle (GOOD, she is still growing on me and I haven't being giving her a fair chance cause I have been listening to Jill on continuous play.) My dad use to be a DJ and we have all kinds of albums in the house GAP band, shalamar, peter frampton, you name it, if it was a hit in the late 70's early to mid 80's we got the LP. Music sometimes provides the words on how I feel about somethings. I am never short for words but occasionally when it comes to my feeling/emotions I am MUTE. So when I hear Indie.Aire or Jill Scott or Pharcyde or Black Eye Peas (before Fergie) I am like yeah that's it. I am actually gonna start picking up some old school like George Benson and George Duke, Quincy Jones.
Okay well I must run off to the jail to visit my clients and then I have a Eye Dr. appt. and then maybe a trip to Nachtochies to take my cousin back to school.
Take care
Monday, October 1, 2007
15 minutes.....
Okay it has been a minute since I last wrote. I have like 15 minutes and lets see what I can do. Well the reason I haven't written is because I was busy. Thursday- I took a personal day wasn't planned wasn't expected just happened. I short trip to show my dad something and get some bread pudding from my aunt turned into an all day with the family and not seeing the inside of my office. Friday I came in but for those that don't know (that's hair day) so I try to get in see clients run out to the jail and be on time for Kari cause the wig gots to get washed else it would be dirty pony tail the next week. No I am not high maintenance I just get my hair done every week. It's something about clean straight hair that helps me face the week. Well then on Saturday I had a service project for Delta and then a 30th Birthday part. Sunday I had church and BINGO (I volunteer there) and well day I am sitting at my desk about to meet my dad and go to the house to watch movies and be a bum.
My church is having a revival next Monday and Tuesday and our pastor asked us to prepare for the revival, not let this be just about preaching and it have no change in our life or the life of the church and its ministry. Its for 10 days and we have something to do each day, I will write more about it in latter days. Well one of the things we were asked to do is to abstain from something that gives us pleasure for 10 days. I choose desserts (i love pastries and cookies and sweets) its been okay so far. Even though the honey buns in the vending machine are calling me. and I have all kinds of treats at home. my mom is giving up sweets and ice (cause she eats it like it food).
We will chat more on this.
take care
My church is having a revival next Monday and Tuesday and our pastor asked us to prepare for the revival, not let this be just about preaching and it have no change in our life or the life of the church and its ministry. Its for 10 days and we have something to do each day, I will write more about it in latter days. Well one of the things we were asked to do is to abstain from something that gives us pleasure for 10 days. I choose desserts (i love pastries and cookies and sweets) its been okay so far. Even though the honey buns in the vending machine are calling me. and I have all kinds of treats at home. my mom is giving up sweets and ice (cause she eats it like it food).
We will chat more on this.
take care
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
