Am I Bi-polar?

I really don't have time to be crazy. As a teenager I use to half joke with my friends about, I think I am bi-polar. You know one of my biggest fears is mental disease, I fear mental disease like I fear lizard and ya'll know a lizard will make me hurt myself. So what has made thought of bi-polar resurface.

I went home this weekend and of course my mother had alot of things recorded for me and one of them being Unsung, ya'll know I love "a where are they now type show" well one of the many I watch was about Phylis Hyhmen (I just murdered her name). She was so talented but suddenly (in her 30's mind you) she started havinng sudden and trastic mood swings. I have always been accussed of being moody and the truth is sometimes I will be in a good mood and someone will say something or do something and it jus sets me off.

For example, before I left to go home my mom and I were getting ready to go, she was doing something and I was trying to tell her where it was and for some reason she was acting like she didn't know what the hell I was saying, I just started screaming at her and then she did it and within 5 mins I was hugger her telling her I love her and I would call her when I get home. The week before the 4th I got up at 5:00 am and went walking, I was in a delightful mood and all was well I was strong about my position on HIM and accepting being alone and spending time with me and then I went to Shreveport and got all depressed and started to miss HIM, and so now he is back (I guess) in the picture. I feel so horrible. The list goes on, my with my erratic behavior.

I just don' t know whats wrong with me......in addition to I am not sleeping right combined with the hella amount of stress at my job(s) combined with not eating right and now i am back on the medication......will it ever stop?


I think thats enough for one sitting... I know I have been gone for a while and I want hit you to hard.