Thursday, July 9, 2009

Am I Bi-polar?

I really don't have time to be crazy. As a teenager I use to half joke with my friends about, I think I am bi-polar. You know one of my biggest fears is mental disease, I fear mental disease like I fear lizard and ya'll know a lizard will make me hurt myself. So what has made thought of bi-polar resurface.

I went home this weekend and of course my mother had alot of things recorded for me and one of them being Unsung, ya'll know I love "a where are they now type show" well one of the many I watch was about Phylis Hyhmen (I just murdered her name). She was so talented but suddenly (in her 30's mind you) she started havinng sudden and trastic mood swings. I have always been accussed of being moody and the truth is sometimes I will be in a good mood and someone will say something or do something and it jus sets me off.

For example, before I left to go home my mom and I were getting ready to go, she was doing something and I was trying to tell her where it was and for some reason she was acting like she didn't know what the hell I was saying, I just started screaming at her and then she did it and within 5 mins I was hugger her telling her I love her and I would call her when I get home. The week before the 4th I got up at 5:00 am and went walking, I was in a delightful mood and all was well I was strong about my position on HIM and accepting being alone and spending time with me and then I went to Shreveport and got all depressed and started to miss HIM, and so now he is back (I guess) in the picture. I feel so horrible. The list goes on, my with my erratic behavior.

I just don' t know whats wrong with me......in addition to I am not sleeping right combined with the hella amount of stress at my job(s) combined with not eating right and now i am back on the medication......will it ever stop?


I think thats enough for one sitting... I know I have been gone for a while and I want hit you to hard.

1 comment:

Serenity3-0 said...

I would not diagnose myself as bipolar. I don't like to speak negative things into existence. It's perfectly normal and natural to have things that set you off, you just have to practice your reaction to them. However, you seem to have a bunch of things going on at once. Pray for peace of mind! I had a point in time where I was worried and stressed and could not sleep. I had to consistenly pray for peace of mind when I was going to bed. I would fall asleep. Eventually my mind started being at rest w/out me having to pray over and over. lastly, I'm sure you work for the city/parish/etc. they have to have a therapist in your plan. Make an appt and go talk to someone. Let them help you sort out your thoughts.