you'll know my nerves get bad

okay I have been trying to write for a while but you'll know my nerves get bad...ok i am crazy. Well its Monday and I am fighting a cold. Let me say I am so happy for my BFF she and her family finally joined a church. This pass weekend was pretty interesting. Friday I went to the oyster bar with some friends and had a blast. I then met Dr. Q at this cigar bar. It was okay but it was smoky and I don't like smoke, my hair, my clothes, my car, everything smelled like smoke. It was even more interesting since I don't drink nor smoke. I had a diet coke when I got there he was drinking and then all of a sudden he ordered a coke and smoked his cigar. I told him he could drink it wouldn't bother me. So we talked about absolutely nothing but it was good. Well at some point the smoke started to bother his eyes and I was pretty happy to leave all the smoke. It was cold outside and we hugged and said good nite, I called him to let him know I made it safely per his request. Let me say one thing...I love the way he hugs/holds me, I felt teeny tiny.

So the next day I slept until noon, which is a little later than normal but I didn't think much of it , since I haven't really been sleeping well during the week. Well lover boy (boy toy) can't remember what I called him sent me a text saying "so you aren't returning texts" and I responded "so you aren't returning phone calls" and then about an hour later I called him to see what the hell he was talking about. So he tells me blah blah blah and says he wants to see me and come over i was like "HELL NAW" cause I had shit all over my house dirty dishes it didn't even look like my place, not that he hasn't seen it in a state of emergency before but I didn't feel like entertaining company. SO I told him I would call him back in about an hour and come over and hang out with him. So I go over and we hang out we watch a movie fall asleep and talk and what not. So I come home and clean up and watch a movie and go to bed.

I briefly spoke with Dr. Q. My intention was not to bother him because he was suppose to be working. I briefly shoot him a text to see how its going and this negro is at the mall. WTF????? So I tell him I am disappointed that he isn't being productive and what not. He blows me off and says he plans to spend the rest of the weekend and part of the week before the holidays working on his paper (which he wants to have published) and grade exams, etc.

Well Sunday I wake up to go to church. I am laying there trying to get the energy to get up and realize I ain't gonna make it. I sleep in and at about 9:30 10 I get a call about the Delta's and there program and realize I need to get up and get dressed. The Delta's were having a program/walk for Aids. I go and hear the speaker but I didn't take the test. you'll already know how i feel about being in a database. I have so many issues with taking an Aids test. Now I currently don't engage in high risk activity and I have no reason that I know of that I need to immediately get tested. However, I learned that you can go 20 years without any signs or symptoms. So with that being said I could stand to present a swab, but I will have to do that with my personal physician. I have some questions: how is this going to look on my insurance, what reporting obligations do they have, etc. Well after that I came home and laid down and watched some more (like 3 movies). My throat began to get scratchy, my head felt like it was about to explode, my stomach felt icky. And there it was I was getting sick.

So i went to work and after court came home took a long nap, washed clothes, cooked and here i am waiting for my last load to dry.

Now I am gonna back to Saturday night. I was talking to Dr. Q and a while back he asked me a question "what do I want/what was i looking for" I really didn't know or have an answer. I know part of my response was I want to find someone who can 'handle' me and that I feel comfortable being around but I really don't know. I never got to ask him the same question, so on Saturday while we talked I asked him, he was on his way into Wal-mart (still not being productive) I told him that he didn't have to answer me now that he could answer me later. He was like cool, I will call you back when I get out. So why is it Monday and I still don't know? I am not going to bring it up but if I don't get an answer and one I like I am gonna be so DONE....You'll know my nerves get bad.