So you want a letter......

Ladie and Gentlemen I have an annoucement, I am a sucker, all day every day I am a sucker for love. So Friday I am sitting on the computer and guess who pops up, Aaron. So we are chatting and everything is going well. So he ask why do I keep deleting him, I tell him because I can't decide weather I want to talk to him or not. So then he says call me, I respond ugh can I have your number and then just randomly my phone rings. So we talk and he continues to apologize and tell me how he wanted to see me and blah blah blah. Then he says that I will just come and spend a weekend with you. I am like WHAT!!! Ugh, not sure I want that. So I like what weekend are you coming back and he says some random weekend in September. I am like whats the occassion, he is like ugh nothing. So we talk more and more adnI fall deeper and deeper for the ookie doak. Well so we finally get off the phone and I go to bed. So I am thinking and it comes to me what is going on that weeked, Homecoming and to add to that his fraternity is celebrating its 30th anniversary and there is suppose to be some sort of big reunion planed that weekend. So needless to say I am pissed.

Because this negro just lyed to me unprovoked and unsolicited. I have him an opportunity to say what was up and what does he do LIE. Well anyway I am online today and he is too, I speak and then I am typing and he sends me a message and says what are you typing, I am like how do you know I am typing he says cause it says you are, I say I am but not to you. He is like O, sorry. So then I ask, do you want me to write you a letter (in my mind a simple yes or no question) so he responds thats on you,I am like this is a simply yes/no question and apparently you don't which is fine cause if you had said yes I wouldn't have known what to say. So I get offline to wash my hair.

Well I am sitting hear thinking maybe I should write this letter, but I don't want him to keep my letter I want him to read it and give it back, because I don't want him to have "evidence" against me. so I figure I would write the letter here and then I would somewhat feel better.

Dear Aaron:

I must say I can't remeber the last time I wrote a letter and I sure as hell can remeber the last time I wrote a "note" to a guy. I do have couple of things on my mind. I don't even know where to start so I guess I will start from the begining. I can remeber so vididly the first day I met you and your boys, I can remeber going to teh "block party" in front of Power Hall. I rember feeling so stupid around you guys cause you all just kept coming with the jokes about me being from Arkansas and did I "bang in little rock" and everything. I can't say that I liked you then but I remeber thinking you were nice, but I had a boyfriend and I was in love with him. Well time went on and I remeber we had a class together and you became my study partner and I remeber thinking I am dropping this class and you may need to find a new partner cause as soon as you leave I am dropping this class. I think that night that you came over to work on an ISDS project I remeber thinking you gotta live, cause then I was seeing someone and it wasn't good that you were there, I could forsee myself getting in trouble. Well time passed and we would see each other occassionaly and campus, I remeber thinking you were attractive but that everytime I was around you and your friends I just felt stupid. So I would just speak and keep it moving, never engaging in anything more just a hello and thats it. I later learned that you took it as me acting "uppity" but in reality I was just shy and didn't know what to say to you without feeling stupid. I remeber you were the one that taught me how to pronounce Tchoupitoulas. Well any way school ran it course for me and so I graduated. Thinking I would never see you nor talk to you or ever find out anything else about you. Then one day 8 years later, you request me to be your friend on face book and on Saturday we talk all day and all night. You confess that you had a crush on me while in college but thought that I wouldn't be interested in you. I never tell you that I too had a crush on you but that everytime I saw you it was never a good time. I think you were dating someone when I wasn't and vice versa. Well anyway we talk and laughed and talked and laughed some more and it felt good. we would chat each other through out the day and chat. I guess you've figured out by now that I am a very gaurded person and I don't let people get close to me. I felt myself opening up to you and then I felt myself become indifferetn to you, which isn't a good thing cause the next step after indifference is dismissal. So we planned to have a date. The Sunday after July 4th, as the date got closer my indifference turned into annyoance, and anger. I was pissed that i agreed to this, even though I just wanted to lay/sit around and have some drinks and just talk until I feel asleep. I wanted to find out more about you and what made you tick, figure out how after all these years I could find myself still smitten with you. I even would have loved to listen to some good music, good food and good dranks and just TALK face to face. but then I wanted to call you and cancel and back out because I was scared, what if it went well then what and what if it went bad then what. So I was conflicted on this date we had set. I wanted to cancel but I didn't want to cancel, I was hopping you would change your mind and so I would be the "bad" person for canceling. So when you didn't call, I was worried because you were so adamant that you were not gonna cancel or stand me up, even when I joked with you about standing me up. So I called you and left a message just to make sure everything was okay. Nothing. Not a return phone call, email, text, instant message, post card NOTHING. I think thats what hurt the most that you didn't have the decency to contact me and cancel on me. So a week goes by and I am get nothing and finally you send me a message apologizing and I accept you apology but I wasn't sure if I wanted any thing else to do with you because you hurt me and disappointed me. However, even feeling that way I still wanted to talk to you, be around you, why I have no ideal Iwas still intrigued by you and was still smitten by you. I said that everything happens for a reason, well honestly you standing me up moved me from indifferent back to intrigued. Who is this motherfucker that stood me up? Why did he stand me up? Well so then we talked on Friday and I was once again smitten by you and even flattered by you wanted to spend a random weekend with me. But this is were it gets a little confusing for me.

You said that you stood me up because your nephew was in and out of the hospital. Okay!!
You said the the reason that you didn't contact me was because you didn't have my number programed in my phone and you couldn't/didn't get to sign on to your computer.
My thoughts on this is that you are full of shit. So what you are telling me is that even if you nephew hadn't been in and out of the hospital I would have been stood up any way because you didn't have access to my information. I have a problem with people who make me worry and people who I percieve to be inconsiderate. But I also have a problem with people who don't plan. Why haven't/didn't you program my number into your phone over the weeks that we talked and talked about going out when you came it never crossed you my number was worth programming into you phone. Just with the fact that you didn't think it important to program my number into your phone, did you ever have any intention of callingme when you got here......Iwould have to think NOT!!!

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled program for this moment from our sponsors: My male best friend says that there are types of women that he want ever talk about with me: (1) the ones not worth mentioning; (2) the ones not worth seeing and (3) the ones not worth meeting. Now back to the letter.

So okay you are a bad planner, I have been lumped into one of you not worth catergories. That fine, I can't be mad if you don't want to go out with me just have the fucking decency to tell me. Please don't be a punk bitch about. I am sorry to hear about you nephew but it seems based on what you have said that I was gonna get stood up anyway. and just another observation.....I called you and left you a message. So after that why didn't you have my number. I am begining to think some body is full of shit.

So with all that being said, I will say I still wasn't mad. I didn't want to completely be done with you. I was welling to forgive and move on. I mean after talking to you on Friday I was so smitten. Even though you feel asleep at the end, which I found kinda cute. But then you go and lie.

So I look at my calendar because I knew one weekend I was gonna be in Port City for my mom's birthday. Now I wasn't so smitten with you that I wanted to be held hostage with you for an entire weeked, but I was willing to may be spend some time with you but I wanted to make sure I was gonna be here before I committed and that I didn't have anything going on. As I am looking at my calendar I see that the weekend you mention, and correct me if I'm wrong is Homecoming and not just any homecoming for you its your fraternities 30th anniversary. Now I was feeling pretty played when I reallized this. I mean I asked you what was bringing you to Capitol City on this random (so I thought) weekend in September. what did you say nothing. Nothing? do i have stupid on my forehead? You know I am glad I told you that I wasn't sure I wanted to spend an entire weekend with you. Dude your game is weak, because if it had been me (putting on my ole' player hat) I would have said I am actually am coming for Homecoming/Reunion, but I would love to spend that time with you as well. i sure i would have declined the offer to be among you frat brothers both old and young, but I would have felt kinda special that you wanted me to come with you to the reunion. or hell you could have said I have planned to be at the reunion but i want to spend time with you while I am there. Would you consider making some time for me? but no you go off and volunteer a lie.

So now we have inconsiderate, unorganized and now lier. Damn Aaron why you have to go and lie. Not that i am keeping score but I think this makes the second time that you have hurt/disappointed me. I have my own issues already so now I have to add trust to them when dealing with you. No sir I don't think so I think what ever feelings/emotions I had/have toward you I am gonna have to let them go. I can't allow you to hurt/disappoint me a third time. I mean you have struck out twice and we haven't even come face to face, a date, a hug nothing. Dude we are still in the preliminary phases of this "situation" and you are already fucking up. I would be a fool to continue anything with you. So just call me a fool...cause even after all of this I would like for us to remain aquatiaces. But thats that's just the sucker in me.

As you all probaly know I want ever give him this letter but if I do I will let you know how it goes, but don't hold your breath.