Why is closure so important to me....

So today was rather interesting. I said on Thursday that I didn't want to do so much on the weekends. I know S23 says I do more cleaning up than anyone, actually I "clean up" on a weekly basis. That includes dust mopping, washing dishes, putting up clothes and shoes. Every other week I wash clothes. I really want to be on a schedule, because I feel so much better when I know what I am suppose to be doing and am doing it. Well Thursday I cleaned up, cleaned bathroom, and what not. I said that on Friday I would come home from work and separate clothes and make a grocery list and relax and watch movies. Which I did. I said on Saturday I would finally go to market and wash clothes which I did. On Sunday I would go to church, belly dancing and grocery shopping which I plan to do.



So today was a rather interesting day. I work up around 7/7:30 for market which was opens at 8 a.m. I hope online just to do my normal thing and guess how pops me a message. Aaron!!! Yeah the one who stood me up. He says I know you are mad, but I want to apologize for not contacting you or attempting to contact you. My response: Apology accepted!! He says: my nephew was in and out of the hospital. My response: how is he His response: he's okay he had Jaundice my response was: okay then he posted the definition of jaundice and my response was: I know what jaundice is his response: oh okay So then I say hey I am about to go talk to you later.



So the question remains, why is closure so important to me. I just can't walk away from things. Like this situation I (oh I forgot, when he popped up on my screen I added him back and he asked if I had deleted him, I told I only removed him from my list) I really want to just walk away. I will admit he did spark my interest but now I am like whatever to him, but I want to know WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!!! I know your nephew was in the hospital and all but you mean to tell me you didn't have one fucking minute to pick up your phone and say "hey, I can't talk long I am at the hospital with my family my nephew is sick i am gonna have to cancel, I'll call you when I get a chance" you mean to tell me its a been damn near a week and you just found the fuckin time to send me a message, I mean shit you could have sent an email, text, hell even a post card would have gotten here in less than 7 days.



So you are thinking why didn't I say these things to him. I don't know, because I am a shitty communicator. and lately I am talking bad too. I don't know why closure is so important to me if I refuse to be honest with people.



Well anyway my day was pretty good. I went to market and bought milk (whole milk WTF), peaches and Lasagna. I know crazy combo. I will definitely be back. So afterwards I cam home to wash clothes, while I was doing that, I ended up talking with my neighbor. She was like what are you doing up so early. So we talk for a bit and she tells me about some of the ladies in the neighborhood who get together and stuff. well today they are having a pool party. and she invites me. Ugh....I don't even own a swimsuit. I think the last swimsuit I owned was in high school. Yeah high school. I tell her that I will come but that I need to go shop for a ball gown. Yes I said it, a ball gown. After I finished washing clothes I trekked to the mall, yes the mall.



Anyone who knows me, knows I hate shopping for clothes and of all articles I hate a formal gown. Why cause it is so difficult to find one to accommodate all this body. Well I went to Dillards, Macy's, Sears and JCPenny and still know damn dress. I saw some cute things but nothing I could take home. Well while I was in there i had to get a corn dog, I hadn't had a mall corn dog in a minute. Probably the last time i went to the mall. Well afterwards, I head home to first stop at the grocery store to pick up a fruit tray. I got home and felt a little nauseated. So I laid down and found my old friend "power nap". I actually think I was over headed from outside, my car said it was 108 degrees and I don't think it got under 97 and I don't do outside. Well I got up and went to meet my neighbor who had invited me so we could go to the pool party. I must say I have never been to an adult (all ladies mind you) pool party. So i get there and a bunch of older ladies sitting under a tent "big tent" and eating and talking.
So I get home and unwind, pop in a movie "Daddy Day Camp".