I may have told this story before I am not sure....I had this advisor in college that told the funniest story. She had this cat and she would always talk about how crazy her cat was. So one one day she explained this bizzare behavior of her cat to the vet. She told the vet that when she comes back from being out of time or gone for a extended period of time when she got back the cat would just go bizerck and but after a day or two the cat would go back to normal. She would like almost freak out when she would come back. So the vet told her the cat isn't crazy it just thinks that when you are gone like that that you are dead so its starts it mourning and the you show up and it gets all freaked out. I share that story to say I think I am alot like that cat any unexplained absences from a significant other freaks me out. I think this goes under abandonment issues. So what's going through my mind, so after HE changed my oil yesterday we went our separate ways he went to his house and I went to mine. Well I mentioned that I wanted to stay the night tonight since we both were off. Now in my mind i was gonna stay the night and get up in the morning and head to my mom's, from there. Well we exchange text and I told him I would call when I leave and so I called his house and cell phone and no answer then i texted him no response. Okay i know i know i know....but I HATE WHEN I GET NO RESPONSE FROM PEOPLE......it makes me feel lonely, abandoned and ignored and it all reminds me of my dad.....
I can't say its insecurity because I don't the thought of him being with someone else is not a concern, hell if he was it would account for the NO response and for some crazy reason I would feel better knowing that. See this is why I don't do relationships because I have to much baggage. as i type this he is calling me.....and all of a sudden i feel better!!!
I CONFESS I AM CRAZY!!!!!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
He's amazing.....
Okay I just have one thing to say.....he's amazing. Weekend before last I was fussing because I took my car to Firestone, where I always take it to have an oil change, I dropped it off and went to church and to eat with my family, 5 hours later when I got back they hadn't touched my car, in addition to that I had to drive back to Baton Rouge. So I mentioned it to HIM, (made a wrong turn back there) and he says don't worry about it I will change it for you. I said okay so the week went by and I was like I'll be damned if by the time I leave to go back home for Easter and my oil hadn't been change I will take care of it myself. Well we were talking and he was like I didn't know you were going home for Easter I was like yeah I am gonna leave Friday and come back Monday. So Sunday he invites me to go to Sam's with him because he knows I want to go and price TV's for my lil girl so while we are in there he picks up a case of oil, I am like what are you gonna do with all of that, he like its for our cars. Long story short....yo' gurl just got her oil changed. I bought the oil because my car takes a different kinda of oil than his and he changed it and even showed me stuff under my hood. I love a handy man........
I can't say I am in love but shit I do love the way he treats me and makes me feel....He's amazing!!!
So his birthday is coming up next month and I am trying to figure out what to get him/do for his birthday. I have some ideals but I need to sit on them for a minute and get back to you on them.
I can't say I am in love but shit I do love the way he treats me and makes me feel....He's amazing!!!
So his birthday is coming up next month and I am trying to figure out what to get him/do for his birthday. I have some ideals but I need to sit on them for a minute and get back to you on them.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
2 things that bugged me this morning....
I have been meaning to tell you all about the candy man....there is this dude that stands in front of the courthouse everyday, he is there when I get to work (8:30 - 9:00) and is there when I leave for lunch (that time varies) My first annoyance is that all is sells is chocolate, yeah The world's finest, you know the school fundraiser candy, and who in the hell wants a damn candy bar at 8:30 a.m. can a sista get some fruits, a egg sandwich, a bowl of grits, hell its cold how about some hot chocolate. I mean really!!! I just want to scream when I see him in the morning, "I got candy bars for sale" I just want to say "WHY??" its not even snack time yet.
my second annoyance is ......okay my boss had this great ideal to move us to the 4th floor, which is the same floor and probation and parole and where they do drug testing ( i will have to tell you about my glorified typewriter later) well anyway, why do people think that when the come for a drug test they have to smell like drugs? I mean hell today I think I got a contact high.
okay I think that is it for now.....take care.
I know I know I have alot of pieces to put together for you, hopefully I will do that in time.
my second annoyance is ......okay my boss had this great ideal to move us to the 4th floor, which is the same floor and probation and parole and where they do drug testing ( i will have to tell you about my glorified typewriter later) well anyway, why do people think that when the come for a drug test they have to smell like drugs? I mean hell today I think I got a contact high.
okay I think that is it for now.....take care.
I know I know I have alot of pieces to put together for you, hopefully I will do that in time.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Not since Feb.
I a sure by now I have lost all my readers (LOL, all three of you guys). I am so sorry but I will say I have be SUPER BUSY! Lets see I started a second part-time job and I met someone.
So let's talk about the part time gig, well you all know I am teaching online which is part of the reason I haven't been around but the second job is with an attorney working with. I haven't been getting out of there til around 6 pm and I have Delta advisor commitments and I have decided to join Jr. League. So with all that my head has been spinning.
Oh and last week I was rear ended.
Okay so to the Man, lets see we will call him "Wrong turn back there somewhere" (WTBTS). Okay he is amazing and he's and weird asshole. Okay I can't really explain the weird asshole part but I have to keep it balanced. He is amazing so let pray I don't fuck this up, again. I actually "dated" him in college but for my own crazy reasons I stopped talking to him. I have been pushing myself to say around and not run away and I must say just when I am thinking of running away I come back and he does something amazing. I am not really hard to please I love attention, affection (in private, not really comfortable with public display of affection) and thoughtfulness. Just yesterday, I deleted him from my phone, WHY? Because my insecurities got the best of me, but he texts me and wants to know if I want to go somewhere with him that I had mentioned earlier and I was all better.
Ladies and Gentleman I have a confession....Freespeech 22 has some insecurities when it comes to men. Speaking of my men in securities....my ex boyfriend is out of jail, I have not yet run into him. Thank you Father!!!! but a friend of mine has......
What else....nothing much March was just a busy month for me between my 1 full-time job, 2 part-time jobs, Delta and Jr. League out of my mind busy.
So let's talk about the part time gig, well you all know I am teaching online which is part of the reason I haven't been around but the second job is with an attorney working with. I haven't been getting out of there til around 6 pm and I have Delta advisor commitments and I have decided to join Jr. League. So with all that my head has been spinning.
Oh and last week I was rear ended.
Okay so to the Man, lets see we will call him "Wrong turn back there somewhere" (WTBTS). Okay he is amazing and he's and weird asshole. Okay I can't really explain the weird asshole part but I have to keep it balanced. He is amazing so let pray I don't fuck this up, again. I actually "dated" him in college but for my own crazy reasons I stopped talking to him. I have been pushing myself to say around and not run away and I must say just when I am thinking of running away I come back and he does something amazing. I am not really hard to please I love attention, affection (in private, not really comfortable with public display of affection) and thoughtfulness. Just yesterday, I deleted him from my phone, WHY? Because my insecurities got the best of me, but he texts me and wants to know if I want to go somewhere with him that I had mentioned earlier and I was all better.
Ladies and Gentleman I have a confession....Freespeech 22 has some insecurities when it comes to men. Speaking of my men in securities....my ex boyfriend is out of jail, I have not yet run into him. Thank you Father!!!! but a friend of mine has......
What else....nothing much March was just a busy month for me between my 1 full-time job, 2 part-time jobs, Delta and Jr. League out of my mind busy.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Renaissance Woman
Today my boss called me a renaissance woman, it made me feel kinda good. I personally think I am pretty boring she would disagree. So what's going on you may ask well.
This weekend I went to see the "lil" girl. I got home Friday after picking up my cousin on the way. He, myself and my aunt wen to eat and chatted for a bit, afterwards I came back to her house and did some work followed by going home and catching up on some TV my mom had recorded for me. So my lil girl gets home and we talk a bit, watch a little TV and the go to bed. While I was away my lil girl bought me to pair of really cute shoes that I was eyeing while I was home for Christmas. Well my new (lazy) thing is that when I go home to not pack just take all my dirty clothes home and was and figure out something amongst what I have. With the shoes my mom bought me and the ones I had on something had to work. Well Saturday, I am awaken by my crazy ass BFF and we talk and what not, I then get up and start washing and watching TV. My youngest cousin on my mother's side had her baby shower so once my little girl got off work we did the family thing. Then we went back to the store where she bought my shoes just to look and I walked out with a $3 skirt, $9 skirt, $12 dress, and 2 pairs of $9 shoes. Talk about a sale and for those that know me know I am not a shopper but I couldn't leave them. I was so excited that I didn't even try on the shoes. Well I get home and try them on and low and be hold one of them was do small. For the longest i have worn a 7.5 or 8 shoe and now my foot wants to grow and be an 8 or 8.5..... Well after church I exchanged the7.5 for 8.5 and the 8 I just keep so i am packing up my car and something tells me to look at my shoes my mom bought me and try them on ugh one pair i wore to church and the other was TO SMALL...so I had to exchange them too.
So my cousin and I head back.
I signed up for this reading program at the library and the first book we are doing is a lessen before dying, well knew i wasn't gonna have time to read it while I was away and someone suggested i do books on CD...where has this been I did 6 of 7 CD going home and back and finished the last CD last night while cleaning. I am so ready because Ernest Gaines is coming to town to talk about the book and I finished it I know need to get started on the next one.
Random thought: I got paid Friday and looked at my vacation and noticed I was getting close to my maximum and started freaking out...cause once you get to the max you loose them and i was against loosing days...that like working for free. So I went through my calendar and decided I was gonna take some days if I didn't do anything but sit on my ass. LOL!!!
Okay i think that is all right now. will chat later
This weekend I went to see the "lil" girl. I got home Friday after picking up my cousin on the way. He, myself and my aunt wen to eat and chatted for a bit, afterwards I came back to her house and did some work followed by going home and catching up on some TV my mom had recorded for me. So my lil girl gets home and we talk a bit, watch a little TV and the go to bed. While I was away my lil girl bought me to pair of really cute shoes that I was eyeing while I was home for Christmas. Well my new (lazy) thing is that when I go home to not pack just take all my dirty clothes home and was and figure out something amongst what I have. With the shoes my mom bought me and the ones I had on something had to work. Well Saturday, I am awaken by my crazy ass BFF and we talk and what not, I then get up and start washing and watching TV. My youngest cousin on my mother's side had her baby shower so once my little girl got off work we did the family thing. Then we went back to the store where she bought my shoes just to look and I walked out with a $3 skirt, $9 skirt, $12 dress, and 2 pairs of $9 shoes. Talk about a sale and for those that know me know I am not a shopper but I couldn't leave them. I was so excited that I didn't even try on the shoes. Well I get home and try them on and low and be hold one of them was do small. For the longest i have worn a 7.5 or 8 shoe and now my foot wants to grow and be an 8 or 8.5..... Well after church I exchanged the7.5 for 8.5 and the 8 I just keep so i am packing up my car and something tells me to look at my shoes my mom bought me and try them on ugh one pair i wore to church and the other was TO SMALL...so I had to exchange them too.
So my cousin and I head back.
I signed up for this reading program at the library and the first book we are doing is a lessen before dying, well knew i wasn't gonna have time to read it while I was away and someone suggested i do books on CD...where has this been I did 6 of 7 CD going home and back and finished the last CD last night while cleaning. I am so ready because Ernest Gaines is coming to town to talk about the book and I finished it I know need to get started on the next one.
Random thought: I got paid Friday and looked at my vacation and noticed I was getting close to my maximum and started freaking out...cause once you get to the max you loose them and i was against loosing days...that like working for free. So I went through my calendar and decided I was gonna take some days if I didn't do anything but sit on my ass. LOL!!!
Okay i think that is all right now. will chat later
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
All the rage...
Okay so I hang out on facebook and lately all the rage has been random 25 things about you so I did it but once I got started I couldn't stop so here are 31 randome things about me.
1.) People say growing up I was always smiling, my smile was referred to as a Kool-Aid smile (thanks Tonya)
2.) In college I thought I was going to go from Nikki to Dani, but some reason I am referred to as Danielle “Nikki” Brown by people who went to college with me (thanks Terri and Kenya)
3.) I love to dance but never stick with it…I am ballet drop-out, modern drop-out, jazz drop-out, tap drop-out and most recently a belly dance drop-out. ( I think my ballet teacher played some part in that, I have been scared ever since); I was even on an all-star dance team
4.) I was a cheerleading (9th -12th grade, Co-Capt. in 9th and 12th grade), those who know me now find that so hard to believe
5.) I love my little girl, my mother; at some point in my life the roles reversed and now I am the mother and she is the daughter; people say she is my twin
6.) I struggle everyday not to hate my father, about a year ago I came to peace with my daddy issues, now I just struggle not to hate him….oh and people say he is my twin when we are together (but I don’t for see that happening ever again)
7.) If I was not my mother’s daughter, I would have been a stripper in college and law school (hell Sallie Mae is kicking my ass) and would be tattooed up like it wasn’t anybodies business, however my mother whips out the Bible and turns to Leviticus every time I mention or she thinks I am thinking about getting inked.
8.) I have the strangest taste in men; you have to know me to know what I am talking about. It’s the craziest things that I find attractive, like calf muscles (Take the wheel Jesus); arms (there was this police officer that I just wanted to bit his arms they were just like large apples) okay TMI sorry.
9.) I haven’t had a drink of alcohol since July 08’, now if I can make it through Mardi Gras, I am officially DONE with the spirits
10.) Tuesday, January 25, 2000 was a day that changed my life, however I wouldn’t realize it until years later
11.) By the time I had gotten to college I wasn’t really interested in a lot of things people are while in college, hell I had done it all in high school……We must remember I enforce the law now….
12.) When I was in kindergarten I locked myself in the lockers trying to play a joke on my teacher, well the joke was on my…I think I had a nervous breakdown and have been claustorophic ever since.
13.) One of my biggest fears is to not have control
14.) When I see people who knew me growing up they always find it hysterical that I am a lawyer
15.) I am shy, I really don’t like people and social events or networking…..I feel like a prostitute, as if I am selling my soul…cause I would rather be at home
16.) I LOVE TO SLEEP
17.) I HATE BEING COLD
18.) Large crowds of people make me uncomfortable
19.) I have a secret desire to be pregnant….now let me clarify I want to be pregnant for 9 months, breast feed for another year and be done….and I also want a reception (not a wedding), my friends say it isn’t possible (don’t want to raise anybody, just be fluffy)
20.) I love history and old shit
21.) I have this secret fascination with Cuba, Afghanistan, Zaire (Lumumba, Mobutu) and Judaism and the whole Middle East conflict……unfortunately I don’t have the time or energy to feed my fancy
22.) I love being around people who I think are smarter than me….I am a parasite/sponge I love learning new things, stuff I didn’t know
23.) When I was in the 8th my Adv. Social Studies teacher showed this cartoon in class and it depicted black people black as tar, with big red lips….not really sure of its significance but every since then I hated being in Advanced or Pre-AP or AP classes….(the only people who thought this may have been offensive were (Kristy and John, thanks guys);
24.) In 6th grade, I decided that my table would accentuate the positive, meaning that the girl that was good at handwriting would do everyone’s handwriting, the girl that would good at math would do all the math, the girl that was good at spelling would do all the spelling and so forth…I was accused of cheating and now people pay/make good money for dividing up task…I still don’t like my 6th grade teacher to this day, that wasn’t the only time she accused me of cheating , she said I cheated on my science test (just cause I drew a fucking diagram of fission and fusion) BITCH…
25.) I am a neat freak/anal/straight to the point/Bitch
26.) I am on a roll now…..When I was younger I wanted to be: a lawyer, a politician, an archeologist, a sociologist, a pshycairist, a physiologist, a robotic engineer, Robin Given’s character from Boomerang, and just a random person that had a random job
27.) I am a horrible speller
28.) My last year or so of college, I was the “Commissioner of Fun”
29.) I have always worked, I had a job at 15…I have at major points in my life had 2 jobs, summer before my freshman year in college, while on line, after graduation from college, after graduation from law school….so I have zero tolerance for people who don’t work
30.) I have zero tolerance for people who use their upbringing as an excuse for why they commit crimes or are in jail….cause I know better.
31.) Okay this is the last one…I had the biggest crush on J.C. Watts, my BFF volunteer for the Republican Party in Hawaii and got me a nice size photo of him. I remember when she sent it to me I was in heaven….I mean Micheal Steele is nice but he ain’t got nothing on Julius Ceasar Watts.
1.) People say growing up I was always smiling, my smile was referred to as a Kool-Aid smile (thanks Tonya)
2.) In college I thought I was going to go from Nikki to Dani, but some reason I am referred to as Danielle “Nikki” Brown by people who went to college with me (thanks Terri and Kenya)
3.) I love to dance but never stick with it…I am ballet drop-out, modern drop-out, jazz drop-out, tap drop-out and most recently a belly dance drop-out. ( I think my ballet teacher played some part in that, I have been scared ever since); I was even on an all-star dance team
4.) I was a cheerleading (9th -12th grade, Co-Capt. in 9th and 12th grade), those who know me now find that so hard to believe
5.) I love my little girl, my mother; at some point in my life the roles reversed and now I am the mother and she is the daughter; people say she is my twin
6.) I struggle everyday not to hate my father, about a year ago I came to peace with my daddy issues, now I just struggle not to hate him….oh and people say he is my twin when we are together (but I don’t for see that happening ever again)
7.) If I was not my mother’s daughter, I would have been a stripper in college and law school (hell Sallie Mae is kicking my ass) and would be tattooed up like it wasn’t anybodies business, however my mother whips out the Bible and turns to Leviticus every time I mention or she thinks I am thinking about getting inked.
8.) I have the strangest taste in men; you have to know me to know what I am talking about. It’s the craziest things that I find attractive, like calf muscles (Take the wheel Jesus); arms (there was this police officer that I just wanted to bit his arms they were just like large apples) okay TMI sorry.
9.) I haven’t had a drink of alcohol since July 08’, now if I can make it through Mardi Gras, I am officially DONE with the spirits
10.) Tuesday, January 25, 2000 was a day that changed my life, however I wouldn’t realize it until years later
11.) By the time I had gotten to college I wasn’t really interested in a lot of things people are while in college, hell I had done it all in high school……We must remember I enforce the law now….
12.) When I was in kindergarten I locked myself in the lockers trying to play a joke on my teacher, well the joke was on my…I think I had a nervous breakdown and have been claustorophic ever since.
13.) One of my biggest fears is to not have control
14.) When I see people who knew me growing up they always find it hysterical that I am a lawyer
15.) I am shy, I really don’t like people and social events or networking…..I feel like a prostitute, as if I am selling my soul…cause I would rather be at home
16.) I LOVE TO SLEEP
17.) I HATE BEING COLD
18.) Large crowds of people make me uncomfortable
19.) I have a secret desire to be pregnant….now let me clarify I want to be pregnant for 9 months, breast feed for another year and be done….and I also want a reception (not a wedding), my friends say it isn’t possible (don’t want to raise anybody, just be fluffy)
20.) I love history and old shit
21.) I have this secret fascination with Cuba, Afghanistan, Zaire (Lumumba, Mobutu) and Judaism and the whole Middle East conflict……unfortunately I don’t have the time or energy to feed my fancy
22.) I love being around people who I think are smarter than me….I am a parasite/sponge I love learning new things, stuff I didn’t know
23.) When I was in the 8th my Adv. Social Studies teacher showed this cartoon in class and it depicted black people black as tar, with big red lips….not really sure of its significance but every since then I hated being in Advanced or Pre-AP or AP classes….(the only people who thought this may have been offensive were (Kristy and John, thanks guys);
24.) In 6th grade, I decided that my table would accentuate the positive, meaning that the girl that was good at handwriting would do everyone’s handwriting, the girl that would good at math would do all the math, the girl that was good at spelling would do all the spelling and so forth…I was accused of cheating and now people pay/make good money for dividing up task…I still don’t like my 6th grade teacher to this day, that wasn’t the only time she accused me of cheating , she said I cheated on my science test (just cause I drew a fucking diagram of fission and fusion) BITCH…
25.) I am a neat freak/anal/straight to the point/Bitch
26.) I am on a roll now…..When I was younger I wanted to be: a lawyer, a politician, an archeologist, a sociologist, a pshycairist, a physiologist, a robotic engineer, Robin Given’s character from Boomerang, and just a random person that had a random job
27.) I am a horrible speller
28.) My last year or so of college, I was the “Commissioner of Fun”
29.) I have always worked, I had a job at 15…I have at major points in my life had 2 jobs, summer before my freshman year in college, while on line, after graduation from college, after graduation from law school….so I have zero tolerance for people who don’t work
30.) I have zero tolerance for people who use their upbringing as an excuse for why they commit crimes or are in jail….cause I know better.
31.) Okay this is the last one…I had the biggest crush on J.C. Watts, my BFF volunteer for the Republican Party in Hawaii and got me a nice size photo of him. I remember when she sent it to me I was in heaven….I mean Micheal Steele is nice but he ain’t got nothing on Julius Ceasar Watts.
100 Post
I just logged in and realized I have posted 100 blog....wow!!!! This is a milestone, isn't it should I have a party or something?
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