Black Privilege and Love

Okay I woke up this morning with my mind on 2 things. One was black privilege and the other being love. Yeah I know pretty random.

Black Privilege
So yesterday was the last dialogue for the Dialogue on Race program that I am participating in. Actually in like 3 weeks we are getting together for a "dinner dialogue". Well so there is this lady in the dialogue that frustrates me to say the least. Our reading was about solutions in eliminating race, I will say I was optimistic but after yesterday I am not sure if we can ever eliminate racism. Well these are just some of the highlights from the evening. We usually open up with a recap from the prior dialogue and then our facilitator ask us if we have any observations to share. So "ole lady" I will call her starts off with 2 things the first being a clipping out of the newspaper that says something to the effect that we can't have serious discussion on race because everyone isn't honest and the second being a article she read out the Christian magazine regarding balls that are had in Mobile, AL where there is an all white ball and then an all black ball. Okay....So our reading where about steps to eliminate racism. One of the writers suggested that there be listening the part of white Americans that doesn't judge, debate, defend, solve or critique. Well "ole lady" says that she believes that listening has to be on both sides. Not that I disagree with her. However, I tried to convey that if I am sharing a story or struggle with you that I personally have experienced or that black people experience, for you to come back with a story in an effort to share/empathize/relate only devalues what I just said. Translation----you ain't listening to me, and if you ain't listening to me I sure as hell don't want to listen to you any more. So ole lady shared with us about her experience with a black man that came to her church (I think) he was an anti-racism educator, he made the statement to the effect that Black Americans felt oppressed. She told us that she responded with that her father was oppressed by the racism of his father, ie. as a child he was taken to a lynching and that scared him for life, however when she wanted to write the NAACP her father refused to allow her to write to such a communist organization. And I am sure you were as baffled as I by this sharing. I don't completely understand the correlation between the oppression felt by an entire race to the rearing of your father by your grandfather ie. being taken to a lynching and his response to the NAACP as a Communist organization. Just a random thought Wasn't the NAACP established way before the threat of Communism? Well that's not all folks. So we continue to discuss efforts to eliminate racism, I stated that we have seen efforts in legislation to remedy the effects of racism. Well the reading suggested 5 things that or 5 perspectives for dismantling racism. One was that we must start from an historical perspective and not just an individual perspective. With that and I quote "The United States was established as a white society, founded upon the near genocide of one race and the enslavement of another". Is there anyone out there that disagrees with that statement. Well ole lady did, not only did she disagree with the statement she goes on to state that the we should be happy with the 3/5 compromise,what? And my response was why is that, she says because it gave us the Constitution. My response was why would I be happy about a compromise regarding my humanity that yielded us a document that didn't even apply to me. She then says that the Constitution was so forward thinking, ie." all men are created equal" WTF? I had to remind her that it wasn't talking about me. Now don't get me wrong in the context of establishing a democracy or looking for a model for laws and bylaws, yes the Constitution is a great document. However, the context of race relations it was not until recent years (ie. the 60's) did the Constitution start to protect me or even acknowledge my relevance to society. But that's not all, a couple of weeks ago we talked about White privilege. We defined white privilege as a system that confers an invisible package of unearned assets for those of the white race. So ole lady goes on to say she believes that there is black privilege. And somebody asked her what is that, she proceeded to refer to her list. She says that blacks have the privilege of being sensitive and offended, they can talk about white people and not be called racist (ie. white people can't dance). Ugh yeah lets find the correlation the ability to walk into any store in America and buy hair products, skin colored band-aids, skin tone hosiery and make-up versus the ability to say white people can't dance, to be avoided by statements, to have a heighten level of sensitivity. Oh yeah those are the same (please take notice of my sarcasm). and oh yeah this translates into asset that allows me to navigate through society much better. And that was just yesterday. In the reading it suggested the one of the reason that blacks/African-Americans don't participate in such dialogues is that they get frustrated with the lack of "openness" from whites.....GUILTY!!!

So on to Love
As I sit here at 5 am listening to the Commodores sign sweet love.......Lionel *fanning myself*
Okay so I have been thinking that maybe its time to open myself up to love and relationships. Cause you know there once was (still is some days) a time when I believed that all I needed from a man I could buy, borrow or do it myself. Not that I was some bitter black woman, I was just indifferent. I knew that there were some GREAT Men out there, it just so happen that none of them were for me. Well anyway I for some reason woke up thinking about the last time I was in love, it was College 2000 (yeah 8 years ago). I thought about the last time my "love" and I shared an experience where I felt loved, support and confidence. I know sounds crazy but what I want from a significant other is love, support, encouragement and someone to share the good as well as the bad times with. Well my senior year in college I was awarded a the MLK Humanitarian award for my commitment to race relations (ugh I think that was the phrasing), I and another fellow. Well anyway it was somewhat of a big deal. I didn't know I was getting the award. I was on the Union Program Council at the University and I remember everyone asking me was I going and I told them I wasn't sure, because I had enrolled in a night class that ran the same time as the MLK program. In actuality my boyfriend and I had the class together. Well anyway we go to the class. We get out of class early because its the first day. So we are walking back to my apartment and as we come in past the McDonald's I run into my mother. I am so surprised, one because my mother never came to visit me, she would either be there to pick me up or drop me off. She isn't much of a driver, particularly on the high way, she had rented a car and driven to 3.5 hours by herself. Well come to find out my sponsor from UPC had contacted my mother and told her that I was getting this award, my mother in turn had called my boyfriend (how she got his number is still beyond me) and told him and they plotted together to surprise me not only with this award but with my mama being there. I can remember running back to my apartment to change clothes cause I couldn't accept an award from Dick Gregory in my normal class attire (tennis shoes, jeans, t-shirt, baseball cap and ponytail) not with my mama her and the rest of the world (LOL) watching. So I ran home threw on a suit with a scarf (cause that's what was in) applied some heat to the hair, put on some heels and came back to accept my award. With my mama on one side and my love on the other, and my roommate cheering me on I was on top of the world. My boyfriend's minister was there and I introduced my mother to my Student Government sponsors and other people "this my mama" and my boyfriends was there cheering me on telling how proud of me he was. Damn....that was a good moment, I think that's what I actually miss that love and support that your family can't give you, nor your girlfriends....its different not better not less just different. I can think about other special events in my life graduating from law school, passing the bar, my first trial, my first not guilty as a defense attorney, my first job as an attorney, and the list goes on. And I can remember that little empty feeling I had when everyone went home.

so its now 5:32 a.m. I really don't know what to do go back to sleep or get up and clean my house and get ready for work. I have a volunteer project tonight I will be on the local PBS channel answering the phone for there annual telethon, that should be fun. I will tell you about it later.

I must say the song now is Earth, Wind and Fire "would you mind" and now my radio has come on and its Cameo "Word Up!!" I am feeling pretty 80's today, I may break out the neon (LOL)