Saturday, May 2, 2009

You got to have a lil ass hole in you to hang with me....

Okay so I am trying to recover from my cold. I doped myself up last night and felt a bit better this morning. I still have a running nose and like coughing but I am feeling better I will drug up once again tonight and 2morrow night so hopefully I will be 100 for work on monday.

So HIM well its over for now. I am broken hearted but okay. So this is how it went down. Well Monday of this week I was just feeling really wierd. So when we talked I asked him "Dude are you gonna break my heart" he was like huh I was like are you going to hurt me. His response and I quote "What, are you in love with me?" I was like no not yet, but I do like you. Then he said "well if you feel like that then maybe you should take sometime away from me" I was like o, okay. So we chit chat some more and then he tells me that he isn't looking for a relationship, that he just got out of a 5 year off/on relationship and that he doesn't have time, that he has stuff that he want to do, etc., etc. So at this moment I am going to take a page from S23 and write him a letter.

Him ,

There is so much I want to say to you. First let me say I am hurt that this couldn't go any further. Like I explained to you it would make know since for me to hang around spinning my wheels if I know you are try to go where I am. You stated that you aren't looking for a relationship and didn't think I was either. You stated that you never meant to lead me on and that you were very carefully in not doing such. Let me say I never felt you were leading me own, and no initally I wasn't looking for a relationship. But the more I spent time with you the more I wanted to spend more time. Like I said I actually like you for you...I like the way you treated me, I like the things you did for me, I liked the things I learned from you. I mean even when I thought you were an asshole it was okay, when it wasn't okay I would tell you and we would move on. Now I didn't like the fact that I found you to be very guarded (i know the pot calling the kettle black) but now I understand why. You have done nothing wrong but be you, and you shouldn't feel bad because you aren't looking for a relationship. That's your position and I accept it. I am taking you advice and taking sometime away.

Readers I am tired of talking about this right now but I will keep you posted on the latest developments.. This cold is kicking my ass and I need to clean house and wash clothes.

I am okay a little sad but okay.

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